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Humor is an excellent method of keeping a tight rein on unproductive displays of emotion.

Barbara Mertz

Is is difficult to be angry with a gentleman who pays you compliments, even impertinent compliments. Especially impertinent compliments.
BARBARA MERTZ

Gentleman Men Pay
Cats always pick the laps of the people who don’t like them.
BARBARA MERTZ

Cat Lap People
I had refused Emerson’s well-meant offers of assistance, knowing his efforts would be confined to moving the furniture to the wrong places and demanding how much longer the process would take.
BARBARA MERTZ

Effort Knowing Moving
Emerson,’ I said, choosing my words with care, ‘it is a sheer drop from the cleft down to the base of the cliff. If you are bent on breaking your arm or your leg or your neck or all three, find a place closer to home so we won’t have to carry you such a distance.
BARBARA MERTZ

Distance Home Three
The approval of a cat cannot but flatter the recipient.
BARBARA MERTZ

Approval Cat Flatter Recipient
In the silence I heard Bastet, who had retreated under the bed, carrying on a mumbling, profane monologue. (If you ask how I knew it was profane, I presume you have never owned a cat.)
BARBARA MERTZ

Bed Cat Silence
I have learned that particularly clever ideas do not always stand up under close scrutiny.
BARBARA MERTZ

Clever Ideas Scrutiny
I do hope you have some money. I’m getting tired of hitting people.
BARBARA MERTZ

Hitting People Tired
Dogs can be made to feel guilty about anything, including the sins of their owners. Cats refuse to take the blame for anything – including their own sins.
BARBARA MERTZ

Blame Cat Dog
It’s not unsporting to thrash a cowardly cad,’ said Simmons. ‘Everyone knows you don’t fight like a gentleman.’ ‘That might be called an oxymoron,’ Ramses said. ‘Oh–sorry. Bad form to use long words. Look it up when you get home.’ The poor devil didn’t know how to fight, like a gentleman or otherwise.
BARBARA MERTZ

Fighting Home Sorry
Love has a very dulling effect on the brain
BARBARA MERTZ

Brain Dulling Effects Love
I do not scruple to employ mendacity and a fictitious appearance of female incompetence when the occasion demands it.
BARBARA MERTZ

Appearance Demand Female
Children, I feel, are as much entitled to privacy as human beings.
BARBARA MERTZ

Children Feel Privacy
I can do a book in three months if I spend all day, seven days a week at it and, in fact, I work better that way.
BARBARA MERTZ

Book Three Way
There was no warning, not even a knock. The door flew open, and he forgot his present aches and pains in anticipation of what lay in store. The figure that stood in the door was not that of an enemy. It was worse. It was his mother.
BARBARA MERTZ

Doors Mother Pain
The way to get on with a cat is to treat it as an equal – or even better, as the superior it knows itself to be.
BARBARA MERTZ

Cat Treats Way

Humor is an excellent method of keeping a tight rein on unproductive displays of emotion.

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Humor is an excellent method of keeping a tight rein on unproductive displays of emotion.

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