The word “souvenir” has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless.
ALAN CORENEthnically, the Germans are Teutonic… being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated – south from Sweden in about 500 BC.
More Alan Coren Quotes
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Disneyworld… is a historical reconstruction as sanitised as the Kremlin’s, and a future vision as uncognisant of contemporary pointers as Peter Pan’s.
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But even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.
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It is a magic carpet under which everything has been swept.
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Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
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Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.
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Why they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
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Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.
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Ethnically, the Germans are Teutonic… being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated – south from Sweden in about 500 BC.
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The Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you.
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Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren’t called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)
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All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.
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10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?
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Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.
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Inside this hothouse, huge lascivious orchids slide sensuously up the sweating windows, passion-flowers cross-pollinate in wild heliotrope abandon, lotuses writhe with poppies in the sweet warm beds.
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I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
ALAN COREN