A humorist tells himself every morning, “I hope it’s going to be a rough day.” When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.
ALAN CORENA humorist tells himself every morning, “I hope it’s going to be a rough day.” When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.
ALAN CORENInside this hothouse, huge lascivious orchids slide sensuously up the sweating windows, passion-flowers cross-pollinate in wild heliotrope abandon, lotuses writhe with poppies in the sweet warm beds.
ALAN CORENThe word “souvenir” has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless.
ALAN CORENThere are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn’t all the water gush out when you get in?
ALAN CORENBeing a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.
ALAN CORENTelevision is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.
ALAN CORENTo have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.
ALAN COREN10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?
ALAN CORENEnjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.
ALAN CORENBut even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.
ALAN CORENThe role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
ALAN CORENEnglish Bohemianism is a curiously unluscious fruit.
ALAN CORENStrictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
ALAN CORENEthnically, the Germans are Teutonic… being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated – south from Sweden in about 500 BC.
ALAN CORENDisneyworld… is a historical reconstruction as sanitised as the Kremlin’s, and a future vision as uncognisant of contemporary pointers as Peter Pan’s.
ALAN CORENMalta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.
ALAN COREN