10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?
ALAN CORENEthnically, the Germans are Teutonic… being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated – south from Sweden in about 500 BC.
More Alan Coren Quotes
-
-
Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
ALAN COREN -
Kumquats ripen, open and plop flatly to the floor-and outside, in a neat, trimly-hoed kitchen-garden.
ALAN COREN -
But even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.
ALAN COREN -
The Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you.
ALAN COREN -
Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.
ALAN COREN -
Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.
ALAN COREN -
Inside this hothouse, huge lascivious orchids slide sensuously up the sweating windows, passion-flowers cross-pollinate in wild heliotrope abandon, lotuses writhe with poppies in the sweet warm beds.
ALAN COREN -
Why they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
ALAN COREN -
Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren’t called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)
ALAN COREN -
Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.
ALAN COREN -
All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.
ALAN COREN -
The word “souvenir” has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless.
ALAN COREN -
Disneyworld… is a historical reconstruction as sanitised as the Kremlin’s, and a future vision as uncognisant of contemporary pointers as Peter Pan’s.
ALAN COREN -
English Bohemianism is a curiously unluscious fruit.
ALAN COREN -
There are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn’t all the water gush out when you get in?
ALAN COREN