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A humorist tells himself every morning, “I hope it’s going to be a rough day.” When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.

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Day Every Going Hard Hope Humorist Joke Morning Much Rough Well

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.
ALAN COREN

Choose Consist Democrat Hear Think Want
There are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn’t all the water gush out when you get in?
ALAN COREN

Advert Age Bathtub Greatest Gush Mystery Old Out Surely Walk Water
But even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.
ALAN COREN

Cigarette Cover Even Forgettable Item Lest Ninety Object State Today
I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
ALAN COREN

Footprint Item Manufacture Payroll Sometimes Wonder
The word “souvenir” has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless.
ALAN COREN

Anything Breakable Denote Either Extend Meaning Slightly Souvenir Useless
English Bohemianism is a curiously unluscious fruit.
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Unlusiocous Bohemianism Curiously English Fruit
Why they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
ALAN COREN

Clear Country Emigrate Exactly Go Neutral Saw Scholar
All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.
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All Bird Date One Pigeon Sparrow
The Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you.
ALAN COREN

Accident Act Cannot Incur Designation God Insurance Policy Roughly
Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.
ALAN COREN

Beautiful Come Inspirational never Tomorrow May Yesterday
Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.
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Coner Interim People More People Room Stand Television
Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
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Dehydrate Exist Land Merely Sea Speak Strict
It is a magic carpet under which everything has been swept.
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Been Carpet Unde Everything Magic Swept
A humorist tells himself every morning, “I hope it’s going to be a rough day.” When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.
ALAN COREN

Day Every Going Hard Hope Humorist Joke Morning Much Rough Well
Disneyworld… is a historical reconstruction as sanitised as the Kremlin’s, and a future vision as uncognisant of contemporary pointers as Peter Pan’s.
ALAN COREN

Contemporary Disneyworld Future Historical Person Point Reconstruction Sanitise Uncognisant Vision
The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
ALAN COREN

Axminster Bottom Down Fall Humour Make People Role Top Writhe

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