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A humorist tells himself every morning, “I hope it’s going to be a rough day.” When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.

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Day Every Going Hard Hope Humorist Joke Morning Much Rough Well

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

The Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you.
ALAN COREN

Accident Act Cannot Incur Designation God Insurance Policy Roughly
The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
ALAN COREN

Axminster Bottom Down Fall Humour Make People Role Top Writhe
English Bohemianism is a curiously unluscious fruit.
ALAN COREN

Unlusiocous Bohemianism Curiously English Fruit
Inside this hothouse, huge lascivious orchids slide sensuously up the sweating windows, passion-flowers cross-pollinate in wild heliotrope abandon, lotuses writhe with poppies in the sweet warm beds.
ALAN COREN

Bed Flower Heliotrope Hothouse Inside Lascivious Lotus Orchid Passion Poppies Sweat Sweet Warm Window
The word “souvenir” has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless.
ALAN COREN

Anything Breakable Denote Either Extend Meaning Slightly Souvenir Useless
All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.
ALAN COREN

All Bird Date One Pigeon Sparrow
Ethnically, the Germans are Teutonic… being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated – south from Sweden in about 500 BC.
ALAN COREN

Country Emigrate Ethnical Made South Up
10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?
ALAN COREN

After Bed Break Chance Gone Newsnight Out Three War World
Why they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
ALAN COREN

Clear Country Emigrate Exactly Go Neutral Saw Scholar
Kumquats ripen, open and plop flatly to the floor-and outside, in a neat, trimly-hoed kitchen-garden.
ALAN COREN

Carrier Cold Flatly Garden Kitchen Kumquat Order Outside Ripen Row
It is a magic carpet under which everything has been swept.
ALAN COREN

Been Carpet Unde Everything Magic Swept
I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
ALAN COREN

Footprint Item Manufacture Payroll Sometimes Wonder
Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.
ALAN COREN

Beautiful Come Inspirational never Tomorrow May Yesterday
Disneyworld… is a historical reconstruction as sanitised as the Kremlin’s, and a future vision as uncognisant of contemporary pointers as Peter Pan’s.
ALAN COREN

Contemporary Disneyworld Future Historical Person Point Reconstruction Sanitise Uncognisant Vision
A humorist tells himself every morning, “I hope it’s going to be a rough day.” When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.
ALAN COREN

Day Every Going Hard Hope Humorist Joke Morning Much Rough Well
Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.
ALAN COREN

Coner Interim People More People Room Stand Television

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