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A humorist tells himself every morning, “I hope it’s going to be a rough day.” When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.

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Day Every Going Hard Hope Humorist Joke Morning Much Rough Well

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
ALAN COREN

Dehydrate Exist Land Merely Sea Speak Strict
Having lost the last war, they are currently enjoying a “Wirtschaftswunder,” which can be briefly translated as “The best way to own a Mercedes is to build one.”
ALAN COREN

Brief Curent Enjoy Lost Mercedeas Own Translate
Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.
ALAN COREN

Beautiful Come Inspirational never Tomorrow May Yesterday
I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
ALAN COREN

Footprint Item Manufacture Payroll Sometimes Wonder
Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren’t called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)
ALAN COREN

Call Country Extend Person Sheepdog Shepherd
Inside this hothouse, huge lascivious orchids slide sensuously up the sweating windows, passion-flowers cross-pollinate in wild heliotrope abandon, lotuses writhe with poppies in the sweet warm beds.
ALAN COREN

Bed Flower Heliotrope Hothouse Inside Lascivious Lotus Orchid Passion Poppies Sweat Sweet Warm Window
Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.
ALAN COREN

Neing Persoanlly Personality Sam Thing
Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.
ALAN COREN

Choose Consist Democrat Hear Think Want
A humorist tells himself every morning, “I hope it’s going to be a rough day.” When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.
ALAN COREN

Day Every Going Hard Hope Humorist Joke Morning Much Rough Well
10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?
ALAN COREN

After Bed Break Chance Gone Newsnight Out Three War World
Ethnically, the Germans are Teutonic… being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated – south from Sweden in about 500 BC.
ALAN COREN

Country Emigrate Ethnical Made South Up
But even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.
ALAN COREN

Cigarette Cover Even Forgettable Item Lest Ninety Object State Today
Why they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
ALAN COREN

Clear Country Emigrate Exactly Go Neutral Saw Scholar
Disneyworld… is a historical reconstruction as sanitised as the Kremlin’s, and a future vision as uncognisant of contemporary pointers as Peter Pan’s.
ALAN COREN

Contemporary Disneyworld Future Historical Person Point Reconstruction Sanitise Uncognisant Vision
To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.
ALAN COREN

Grievance Life Purpose
It is a magic carpet under which everything has been swept.
ALAN COREN

Been Carpet Unde Everything Magic Swept

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