Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
ALAN CORENMalta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.
More Alan Coren Quotes
-
-
I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
ALAN COREN -
Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.
ALAN COREN -
Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.
ALAN COREN -
To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.
ALAN COREN -
All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.
ALAN COREN -
Disneyworld… is a historical reconstruction as sanitised as the Kremlin’s, and a future vision as uncognisant of contemporary pointers as Peter Pan’s.
ALAN COREN -
The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
ALAN COREN -
There are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn’t all the water gush out when you get in?
ALAN COREN -
Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren’t called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)
ALAN COREN -
10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?
ALAN COREN -
A humorist tells himself every morning, “I hope it’s going to be a rough day.” When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.
ALAN COREN -
Why they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
ALAN COREN -
Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
ALAN COREN -
Having lost the last war, they are currently enjoying a “Wirtschaftswunder,” which can be briefly translated as “The best way to own a Mercedes is to build one.”
ALAN COREN -
English Bohemianism is a curiously unluscious fruit.
ALAN COREN