Inside this hothouse, huge lascivious orchids slide sensuously up the sweating windows, passion-flowers cross-pollinate in wild heliotrope abandon, lotuses writhe with poppies in the sweet warm beds.
ALAN CORENBut even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.
More Alan Coren Quotes
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Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.
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All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.
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10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?
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The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
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It is a magic carpet under which everything has been swept.
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Kumquats ripen, open and plop flatly to the floor-and outside, in a neat, trimly-hoed kitchen-garden.
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Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.
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The Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you.
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But even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.
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Ethnically, the Germans are Teutonic… being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated – south from Sweden in about 500 BC.
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Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.
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Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.
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English Bohemianism is a curiously unluscious fruit.
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Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
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Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
ALAN COREN