Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
ALAN CORENStrictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
ALAN CORENSince both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
ALAN CORENThere are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn’t all the water gush out when you get in?
ALAN CORENDemocracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.
ALAN CORENMalta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.
ALAN CORENThe word “souvenir” has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless.
ALAN CORENBut even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.
ALAN CORENTelevision is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.
ALAN CORENEthnically, the Germans are Teutonic… being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated – south from Sweden in about 500 BC.
ALAN CORENIt is a magic carpet under which everything has been swept.
ALAN CORENJacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren’t called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)
ALAN CORENAll I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.
ALAN CORENI sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
ALAN CORENThe Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you.
ALAN COREN10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?
ALAN CORENKumquats ripen, open and plop flatly to the floor-and outside, in a neat, trimly-hoed kitchen-garden.
ALAN COREN