Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.
ALAN CORENThe word “souvenir” has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless.
More Alan Coren Quotes
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To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.
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Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.
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Why they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
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The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
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10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?
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Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
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The word “souvenir” has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless.
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Inside this hothouse, huge lascivious orchids slide sensuously up the sweating windows, passion-flowers cross-pollinate in wild heliotrope abandon, lotuses writhe with poppies in the sweet warm beds.
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The Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you.
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Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren’t called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)
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It is a magic carpet under which everything has been swept.
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I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
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All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.
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Disneyworld… is a historical reconstruction as sanitised as the Kremlin’s, and a future vision as uncognisant of contemporary pointers as Peter Pan’s.
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Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
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