But even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.
ALAN CORENBut even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.
ALAN CORENThere are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn’t all the water gush out when you get in?
ALAN CORENDemocracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.
ALAN CORENKumquats ripen, open and plop flatly to the floor-and outside, in a neat, trimly-hoed kitchen-garden.
ALAN CORENThe Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you.
ALAN CORENEnjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.
ALAN CORENAll I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.
ALAN CORENBeing a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.
ALAN CORENEthnically, the Germans are Teutonic… being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated – south from Sweden in about 500 BC.
ALAN CORENThe role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
ALAN CORENStrictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
ALAN CORENEnglish Bohemianism is a curiously unluscious fruit.
ALAN CORENDisneyworld… is a historical reconstruction as sanitised as the Kremlin’s, and a future vision as uncognisant of contemporary pointers as Peter Pan’s.
ALAN CORENIt is a magic carpet under which everything has been swept.
ALAN CORENTelevision is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.
ALAN CORENHaving lost the last war, they are currently enjoying a “Wirtschaftswunder,” which can be briefly translated as “The best way to own a Mercedes is to build one.”
ALAN COREN