I was an only child. I lost both my parents. By the time I was twenty I was bald. I’m homosexual.
ALAN BENNETTHowever bad the weather, Dad never drove to church because Mam thought the sacrament might make him incapable on the return journey.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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Have you ever thought, headmaster, that your standards might perhaps be a little out of date?
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Only when I mention it to W. does he explain Kestrel is now a lager. I imagine the future is going to contain an increasing number of incidents like this.
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At the drabber moments of my life (swilling some excrement from the steps, for instance, or rooting with a bent coat-hanger down a blocked sink) thoughts occur like.
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We have fish and chips, which W. and I fetch from the shop in Settle market-place.
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Illogically, I tend to assume that if you ( Philip Larkin) dream of caning schoolgirls bottoms, it disqualifies you from dismissing half the nation as work-shy.
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Books are not about passing time. They’re about other lives. Other worlds.
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If I had to sum up my work, I suppose that’s it really: I’m taking the pith out of reality.
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It’s subjunctive history. You know, the subjunctive? The mood used when something may or may not have happened. When it is imagined.
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Here I sit, alone at 60, Bald and fat and full of sin Cold the seat, and loud the cistern As I read the (Harpic) (Lysol) tin
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It’s the one species I wouldn’t mind seeing vanish from the face of the earth.
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Imagine that. Per person. This means that if the time scale is diminished in proportion to that of space it would be quite possible for the whole story of Greece and Rome to be played out between farts.
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You always know when you’re going to arrive. If you go by car, you don’t. Apart from anything else, I prefer cycling. It puts you in a good mood, I find.
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I lack what the English call character, by which they mean the power to refrain.
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But then books, as I’m sure you know, seldom prompt a course of action.
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You don’t put your life into your books, you find it there.
ALAN BENNETT