I look at the newspapers, and I cannot believe most of the stories I read. Bernie Madoff, who actually screwed millions of people for billions of dollars.

My credibility is zero. My wife claims she can go before any judge at any time and have me committed.
ALAN ABEL

Before Claim Commit Credibility Judge Time Wife Zero
It’s just unbelievable what he got away with and how long it took for him to be exposed. A guy like that should be hanged.
ALAN ABEL

Away Expose Guy Hang Like Long Took Unbelievable
A woman in Santa Barbara, California, sent a $40,000 check. I fondled it for about five minutes and then sent it back. I told her I couldn’t accept money from strangers.
ALAN ABEL

Accept Around Check Country Fondle Minute Money Sent Stranger Woman
Even with clothing naked animals, there were people who wanted to send in money.
ALAN ABEL

Animal Cloth Even Money Naked People Send Want
We’re a nation of sheep. If you go out and look up at the sky, people around you will start looking up at the sky.
ALAN ABEL

Around Go Look Nation Out People Sheep Sky
I once recommended [in a San Francisco Chronicle column] that a third arm – a plastic arm – be sewn at the base of the spine so that people could have a tripod to sit on while waiting in line, and it was taken seriously.
ALAN ABEL

Arm Country Long Recommend Serious Spine Taken Third Tripod Wait
I look at the newspapers, and I cannot believe most of the stories I read. Bernie Madoff, who actually screwed millions of people for billions of dollars.
ALAN ABEL

Actual Believe Billion Dollar Look Million Most Newspaper People Screw Story

More Alan Abel Quotes