“We’re a nation of sheep. If you go out and look up at the sky, people around you will start looking up at the sky.”

A woman in Santa Barbara, California, sent a $40,000 check. I fondled it for about five minutes and then sent it back. I told her I couldn’t accept money from strangers.

I look at the newspapers, and I cannot believe most of the stories I read. Bernie Madoff, who actually screwed millions of people for billions of dollars.

It’s just unbelievable what he got away with and how long it took for him to be exposed. A guy like that should be hanged.

I once recommended [in a San Francisco Chronicle column] that a third arm – a plastic arm – be sewn at the base of the spine so that people could have a tripod to sit on while waiting in line, and it was taken seriously.

Even with clothing naked animals, there were people who wanted to send in money.

My credibility is zero. My wife claims she can go before any judge at any time and have me committed.

I was known around the college for jamming in the lounge.

I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I’d go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on ‘Laugh-In,’ Flip Wilson.

After I ran off the mound, I looked over at the St. Louis dugout. There were players rolling around on the floor, laughing. Poor Terry. I’ll have to admit that was a hell of a curveball.

I don’t seek power and do not run around

Public and private funds have been thrown around like confetti at a country fair, to close up and destroy clinics, hospitals, and scientific research laboratories which do not conform to the viewpoint of medical associations.

It always felt embattled and small. It always, almost always, was a small group of people relative to the opposition around.

Hi, this is Bernard Fanning from Powderfinger. I’m in New York at the moment, and we’ve been walking around the city, it’s pretty strange.

Around that same time I started running. I never saw myself as the kind of person who would become a runner. It seemed unfathomable to me that I would ever run three miles, let alone 26.2.