The attentions of others matter to us because we are afflicted by a congenital uncertainty as to our own value, as a result of which affliction we tend to allow others’ appraisals to play a determining role in how we see ourselves. Our sense of identity is held captive by the judgements of those we live among.
ALAIN DE BOTTONIt is by finding out what something is not that one comes closest to understanding what it is.
More Alain de Botton Quotes
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A successful work will draw out the features capable of exciting a sense of beauty and interest in the spectator.
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Rage is caused by a conviction, almost comic in its optimistic origins (however tragic in its effects), that a given frustration has not been written into the contract of life.
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The most attractive are not those who allow us to kiss them at once [we soon feel ungrateful] or those who never allow us to kiss them [we soon forget them], but those who coyly lead us between the two extremes.
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Work finally begins when the fear of doing nothing exceeds the fear of doing it badly.
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I learnt to stop fantasising about the perfect job or the perfect relationship because that can actually be an excuse for not living.
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Taking photographs can assuage the itch for possession sparked by the beauty of a place; our anxiety over losing a precious scene can decline with every click of the shutter.
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We need a refuge to shore up our states of mind, because so much of the world is opposed to our allegiances. We need our rooms to align us to desirable versions of ourselves and to keep alive the important, evanescent sides of us.
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You need a long hard day’s work to reveal the logic of the craving for very bad tv and alcohol.
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A good half of the art of living is resilience.
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We should not feel embarrassed by our difficulties, only by our failure to grow anything beautiful from them.
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Literature is the greatest reality simulator – a machine that puts you through infinitely more situations than you can ever directly witness.
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In the gap between who we wish one day to be and who we are at present, must come pain, anxiety, envy and humiliation.
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True love is a lack of desire to check one’s smartphone in another’s presence.
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Everyone wants a better life: very few of us want to be better people.
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A notorious inability to express emotions makes human beings the only animals capable of suicide.
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