We envy only those whom we feel ourselves to be like; we envy only members of our reference group. There are few successes more unendurable than those of our close friends.
ALAIN DE BOTTONBecause the rhythm of conversation makes no allowance for dead periods, because the presence of others calls for continuous responses, we are left to regret the inanity of what we say, and the missed opportunity of what we do not.
More Alain de Botton Quotes
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For paranoia about ‘what other people think’ : remember that only some hate, a very few love – and almost all just don’t care.
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Which seems no less relevant in the secular realm than in the religious one-that we have within us a precious, childlike, vulnerable core which we should nourish and nurture on its turbulent journey through life.
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Most good thinking has its origin in fear.
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The longing for destiny is nowhere stronger than in our romantic life.
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There’s a whole category of people who miss out by not allowing themselves to be weird enough.
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We may seek a fortune for no greater reason than to secure the respect and attention of people who would otherwise look straight through us.
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It wasn’t only fanatics and drunkards who began conversations with strangers in public.
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Must being in love always mean being in pain?
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One kind of good book should leave you asking: how did the author know that about me?
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Most of what makes a book ‘good’ is that we are reading it at the right moment for us.
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The fear of saying something stupid (which stupid people never have) has censored far more good ideas than bad ones.
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After 40 (old age for most of man’s history), one should strive to be more or less packed and ready to go were the end call to come.
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One of our major flaws, and causes of unhappiness, is that we find it hard to take note of appreciate and be grateful for what is always around us. We suffer because we lose sight of the value of what is before us and yearn, often unfairly, for the imagined attraction elsewhere.
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To be shown love is to feel ourselves the object of concern: our presence is noted, our name is registered, our views are listened to, our failings are treated with indulgence and our needs are ministered to. And under such care, we flourish.
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The more closely we analyze what we consider ‘sexy,’ the more clearly we will understand that eroticism is the feeling of excitement we experience at finding another human being who shares our values and our sense of the meaning of existence.
ALAIN DE BOTTON