As victims of hurt, we frequently don’t bring up what ails us, because so many wounds look absurd in the light of day.
ALAIN DE BOTTONMost good thinking has its origin in fear.
More Alain de Botton Quotes
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Our capacity to draw happiness from aesthetic objects or material goods in fact seems critically dependent on our first satisfying a more important range of emotional or psychological needs, among them the need for understanding, for love, expression and respect.
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What we seek, at the deepest level, is inwardly to resemble, rather than physically to possess, the objects and places that touch us through their beauty.
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People who readily accept the need for a gym will resist that their personalities might need some work too.
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In the gap between who we wish one day to be and who we are at present, must come pain, anxiety, envy and humiliation.
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The activities of drawing, eating and drinking, all involve assimilations by the self of desirable elements from the world, a transfer of goodness from without to within.
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It is by finding out what something is not that one comes closest to understanding what it is.
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How generous was it to offer gifts to people one knew would never accept them?
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It was no longer her absence that wounded me, but my growing indifference to it. Forgetting, however calming, was also a reminder of infidelity to what I had at one time held so dear.
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Most of us still caged within careers chosen for us by our not entirely worldly 18-22 year old selves.
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The more closely we analyze what we consider ‘sexy,’ the more clearly we will understand that eroticism is the feeling of excitement we experience at finding another human being who shares our values and our sense of the meaning of existence.
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All tours are filled with humiliation. My publisher once hired a private jet to fly me to a venue where 1,000 people were waiting. It almost bankrupted him.
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The company of certain people may excite our generosity and sensitivity, while that of others awakens our competitiveness and envy.
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We need objects to remind us of the commitments we’ve made. That carpet from Morocco reminds us of the impulsive, freedom-loving side of ourselves we’re in danger of losing touch with. Beautiful furniture gives us something to live up to. All designed objects are propaganda for a way of life.
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One of the unexpectedly important things that art can do for us is to teach us how to suffer more successfully.
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It is striking how much more seriously we are likely to be taken after we have been dead a few centuries.
ALAIN DE BOTTON