William James once made an acute point about the relationship between happiness and expectation. He argued that satisfaction with ourselves does not require us to succeed in every endeavour.
ALAIN DE BOTTONThe most attractive are not those who allow us to kiss them at once [we soon feel ungrateful] or those who never allow us to kiss them [we soon forget them], but those who coyly lead us between the two extremes.
More Alain de Botton Quotes
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Sweetness is the opposite of machismo, which is everywhere-and I really don’t get on with machismo. I’m interested in sensitivity, and weakness, and fear, and anxiety, because I think that, at the end of the day, behind our masks, that’s what we are.
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One rarely falls in love without being as much attracted to what is interestingly wrong with someone as what is objectively healthy.
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The problem isn’t so much finding good ideas (there is no shortage) as embedding the ones we have into everyday practice.
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To be shown love is to feel ourselves the object of concern: our presence is noted, our name is registered, our views are listened to, our failings are treated with indulgence and our needs are ministered to. And under such care, we flourish.
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Reputation matters so much only because people so seldom think for themselves.
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Everyone wants a better life: very few of us want to be better people.
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You normally have to be bashed about a bit by life to see the point of daffodils, sunsets and uneventful nice days.
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The best cure for one’s bad tendencies is to see them in action in another person.
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We are all more intelligent than we are capable, and awareness of the insanity of love has never saved anyone from the disease.
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Not being understood may be taken as a sign that there is much in one to understand.
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The largest part of what we call ‘personality’ is determined by how we’ve opted to defend ourselves against anxiety and sadness”.
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Don’t despair: despair suggests you are in total control and know what is coming. You don’t – surrender to events with hope.
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People only get really interesting when they start to rattle the bars of their cages.
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Good books put a finger on emotions that are deeply our own – but that we could never have described on our own.
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Forcing people to eat together is an effective way to promote tolerance.
ALAIN DE BOTTON
![Alain de Botton Quote - The most attractive are not those who allow us to kiss them at once [we soon feel ungrateful] or those who never allow us to kiss them [we soon forget them], but those who coyly lead us between the two extremes.](https://minimalistquotes.com/images/grey-the-most-attractive-are-not-those-who-al.jpg)
![Alain de Botton Quote - The most attractive are not those who allow us to kiss them at once [we soon feel ungrateful] or those who never allow us to kiss them [we soon forget them], but those who coyly lead us between the two extremes.](https://minimalistquotes.com/images/blue-the-most-attractive-are-not-those-who-al.jpg)
![Alain de Botton Quote - The most attractive are not those who allow us to kiss them at once [we soon feel ungrateful] or those who never allow us to kiss them [we soon forget them], but those who coyly lead us between the two extremes.](https://minimalistquotes.com/images/red-the-most-attractive-are-not-those-who-al.jpg)
![Alain de Botton Quote - The most attractive are not those who allow us to kiss them at once [we soon feel ungrateful] or those who never allow us to kiss them [we soon forget them], but those who coyly lead us between the two extremes.](https://minimalistquotes.com/images/brown-the-most-attractive-are-not-those-who-al.jpg)
![Alain de Botton Quote - The most attractive are not those who allow us to kiss them at once [we soon feel ungrateful] or those who never allow us to kiss them [we soon forget them], but those who coyly lead us between the two extremes.](https://minimalistquotes.com/images/white-the-most-attractive-are-not-those-who-al.jpg)

