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You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

Al Yankovic

I did have a child, and I was reading a lot of picture books to her, but at the same time writing a children’s book was something that I’d been wanting to do for many years, pretty much since the start of my career.
AL YANKOVIC

Book Career Child Picture Pretty Raed Same Time Want Year
I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.
AL YANKOVIC

Again Bathtub Have Piranhas Problem Relationship
Some people want to advertise their weirdness, and spread it out, that’s not me.
AL YANKOVIC

Advertise Out People Want Some Spread Weird
Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.
AL YANKOVIC

Arm Autograph Come Next Permanent Show Somebody Time Up
Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.
AL YANKOVIC

never Put Velvet Weight
I’m watching the charts every week and hoping something will pop into my head.
AL YANKOVIC

Chart Head Hope Pop Something Watch Week Will
It becomes more important to me as time goes on to make every album the best thing I’ve ever done, so it’s a lot of self-imposed pressure that also kind of slows me down a bit.
AL YANKOVIC

Album Best Done Go Important Next Self Thing Time
As much as people are griping about the Internet taking sales away from artists, it’s been a huge promotional tool for me.
AL YANKOVIC

Artist Grip Huge Much People Promotion Tool
I think that nerds, if you want to call them that, have only gotten more hip and assimilated into the culture.
AL YANKOVIC

Assimilate Call Culture Gotten More Nerd Think Want
I’ve learned how to use my spam filter pretty effectively.
AL YANKOVIC

Effectively Filter Learn Pretty Spam Use
I always try to put myself out of my comfort zone and out of my depth, and hopefully somewhere along the line I’ll catch up.
AL YANKOVIC

Along Catch Comfort Hopefully Somewhere Try
My wife went off with Elvis.
AL YANKOVIC

Off Went Wife
It’s hard to force creativity and humor.
AL YANKOVIC

Creativity Force Hard Humor
Right now I’m listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT’S MY JOB.
AL YANKOVIC

Forty Job Listen Music Now Right Top
That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.
AL YANKOVIC

Gateway Kid Lesbian Read Something Witchcraft
I tend to enunciate pretty well. It’s always seemed that my voice is one of those voices that people can recognize pretty easily – which has been a bit of a drawback for some characters.
AL YANKOVIC

Always Character Drawback Easily Enunciate People Pretty Recognize Seem Tenth Voice

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

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You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

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