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You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

Al Yankovic

I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound.
AL YANKOVIC

Fright Ground Kitchen Light Love Pleasant Run Sound Squish
I tend to enunciate pretty well. It’s always seemed that my voice is one of those voices that people can recognize pretty easily – which has been a bit of a drawback for some characters.
AL YANKOVIC

Always Character Drawback Easily Enunciate People Pretty Recognize Seem Tenth Voice
There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can’t think of a clever enough idea.
AL YANKOVIC

Candidate Enough Good Idea Ostensibly Parody Song Think
As much as people are griping about the Internet taking sales away from artists, it’s been a huge promotional tool for me.
AL YANKOVIC

Artist Grip Huge Much People Promotion Tool
A lot of rap songs don’t usually have a lot of melody per se.
AL YANKOVIC

Melody Rap Song Usually
It was difficult to get into my friends’ rock bands when I was a teenager.
AL YANKOVIC

Difficult Friend Player Rock Teenager
People never ask people doing serious music, ‘Do you ever think about doing funny music?’
AL YANKOVIC

Do Funny Music People Serious Think
As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people’s heads.”
AL YANKOVIC

April Day Excuse Fool Man never People Wise
There are probably a few library fines I haven’t paid yet, but I’m a pretty clean-cut guy overall.
AL YANKOVIC

Cut Fine Guy Library Overall Paid Pretty Probably
I can bend paper clips into the shapes of small animals.
AL YANKOVIC

Animal Bend Paper Shape Work
It becomes more important to me as time goes on to make every album the best thing I’ve ever done, so it’s a lot of self-imposed pressure that also kind of slows me down a bit.
AL YANKOVIC

Album Best Done Go Important Next Self Thing Time
I’m stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump.
AL YANKOVIC

Gas Pump Self Service Station Stranded Use
I try to pick songs that I actually like because I realize that I have to live with these songs for a long time, from when I’m working on them in the studio to possibly playing them onstage for the rest of my life.
AL YANKOVIC

Actual Life Long Onstage Pick Possible Realize Rest Song Studio Time Work
In the ’80s, I was putting out an album virtually every year, I think mostly based on fear – that if I didn’t, people would soon forget about me.
AL YANKOVIC

Album Based Eighty Every Fear Forget Mostly People Put Think Virtual Year
As it turns out, there is a thing called the Internet, and stuff does go out there whether the suits like it or not.
AL YANKOVIC

Doe Internet Like Out Stuff Suit Turn
Take down those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine.
AL YANKOVIC

Down Naked Picture Take

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

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You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

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