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You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

Al Yankovic

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.
AL YANKOVIC

Avoid Discuss Heat Paper Political Politics Religion Toilet
A lot of rap songs don’t usually have a lot of melody per se.
AL YANKOVIC

Melody Rap Song Usually
I suppose I had my rock star fantasies while I was singing into my hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but I never really consciously said, ‘OK, this is what I’m going to do for a living and I’m going to be Weird Al.’
AL YANKOVIC

Bathroom Fantastic Go Hairbrush Live Mirror OK Rock Sing Star Suppose Weird
He died a long painful death. However, you’ll be happy to hear that just a few years later he was reincarnated as Shirley MacLaine.
AL YANKOVIC

Better Death Little Long Look Nerdy People Year
In fact, when I come up with an idea for a parody I try to resist the urge to Google the idea to see if someone has done it already because the answer is almost always, “Yes, of course they have, they’ve thought of it!”
AL YANKOVIC

Come Fact Google Idea Parody Resist Someone
I don’t want to pooh-pooh modern pop. I appreciate that as well, but my personal favorite kind of music is guitar-based rock. I like grunge and garage bands and alternative music, but that’s more my personal taste.
AL YANKOVIC

Appreciate Favorite Guitar Kind Modern Music Personal Pooh Pop
In the ’80s, I was putting out an album virtually every year, I think mostly based on fear – that if I didn’t, people would soon forget about me.
AL YANKOVIC

Album Based Eighty Every Fear Forget Mostly People Put Think Virtual Year
Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don’t make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows.
AL YANKOVIC

Gross Hamburger Many Out Sick Something Year
There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can’t think of a clever enough idea.
AL YANKOVIC

Candidate Clever Enough Good Ostensibly Parody Song Think
I like to think that I’ve gotten better at what I do. I spend more time and pay more attention to detail album after album. But pretty much it’s stayed the same.
AL YANKOVIC

Ablum Album Attention Better Detail Gotten More Pay Spend Think Time
In a genre where most of the artists are one-hit wonders, I’ve been able to hang around longer than most “serious” acts. I pride myself in being a very talented leech.
AL YANKOVIC

Around Artist Genre Hang Longer Most Serious Talent Wonder
How can you get bored if the audience is cheering and laughing at something you’re doing?
AL YANKOVIC

Audience Bore Cheer Do Parody Something
One of my pet peeves is that sometimes the talents of my band get overlooked because, and it was the same problem that Frank Zappa had, with a lot of groups that use humor, people don’t realize there’s a lot of craft behind the comedy.
AL YANKOVIC

Band Comedy One Overlook Peeve Pet Problem Realize Same Sometimes Talent
The music has always been my bread and butter, and I’ve focused more of my attention on that.
AL YANKOVIC

Always Attention Bread Butter Focus Music
I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem that time that you made it with the whole hockey team.
AL YANKOVIC

Esteem Hockey Little Lost Made Self Team
There aren’t that many superstars around anymore.
AL YANKOVIC

Anyone Around Many Superstar

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

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You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

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