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When I swore that you’re getting more and more beautiful everyday. Well, I was only kidding, honey.

Al Yankovic

I’m obviously not a rapper, and I don’t have any claims to be one, really.
AL YANKOVIC

Claim Obvious One Rapper Real
I suppose I had my rock star fantasies while I was singing into my hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but I never really consciously said, ‘OK, this is what I’m going to do for a living and I’m going to be Weird Al.’
AL YANKOVIC

Bathroom Fantastic Go Hairbrush Live Mirror OK Rock Sing Star Suppose Weird
I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound.
AL YANKOVIC

Fright Ground Kitchen Light Love Pleasant Run Sound Squish
I can bend paper clips into the shapes of small animals.
AL YANKOVIC

Animal Bend Paper Shape Work
There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can’t think of a clever enough idea.
AL YANKOVIC

Candidate Enough Good Idea Ostensibly Parody Song Think
I did have a child, and I was reading a lot of picture books to her, but at the same time writing a children’s book was something that I’d been wanting to do for many years, pretty much since the start of my career.
AL YANKOVIC

Book Career Child Picture Pretty Raed Same Time Want Year
When I started out, I didn’t feel like I was really accepted in the music or comedy communities, and I was somewhere on the edge, but now I feel like I’m accepted in both, which is extremely gratifying.
AL YANKOVIC

Accept Comedy Community Feel Gratifying Like Music Somewhere Start
It’s hard to really articulate what the parameters are that make one song parody-able and another song not, but if I can come up with a good enough idea for it, I go for it, and if not, then I have to move on.
AL YANKOVIC

Articulate Enough Idea Make Movie Parameter Song
I’ve always known that if I recorded an album, it would come out, and people would enjoy it!
AL YANKOVIC

Album Always Come Enjoy Guy People Record Script
I’m known for being an up, high-energy, and optimistic kind of guy.
AL YANKOVIC

Energy Guy High Kind Known Optimistic
Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain.
AL YANKOVIC

Along Anymore Chain Date Food Low Until Came
He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.
AL YANKOVIC

Gay Inside Jock Paste Revenge Strap Tooth Tube
Right now I’m listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT’S MY JOB.
AL YANKOVIC

Forty Job Listen Music Now Right Top
Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.
AL YANKOVIC

Arm Autograph Come Next Permanent Show Somebody Time Up
I’m just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.
AL YANKOVIC

Boot Esteem Good Grovel Hunk Low Nose Self Slime Worthless
After that, I made the decision to headline no matter what, even if I was playing to seven people. I wanted people to be there to see me.
AL YANKOVIC

Decision Even Headline Made Matter People Play Seven Want

When I swore that you’re getting more and more beautiful everyday. Well, I was only kidding, honey.

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When I swore that you’re getting more and more beautiful everyday. Well, I was only kidding, honey.

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Popular Authors

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