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Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain.

Al Yankovic

That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.
AL YANKOVIC

Gateway Kid Lesbian Read Something Witchcraft
You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but don’t step on my blue suede shoes.
AL YANKOVIC

Choose Our Shoe Step Suede Underwear Want
About four or five months ago, at a dinner in New York, John made the very nice offer of my being guest editor for an issue of MAD and I thought about it for about half a nanosecond and decided that was a pretty good idea.
AL YANKOVIC

Editor Five Good Guest Idea Issue Month Nanosecond Nice Offer Pretty
Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You’ll have plenty of time to be low-key when you’re laid out on the slab.
AL YANKOVIC

Grab Gusto Inspirational Key Lead Low Out Time
Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don’t make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows.
AL YANKOVIC

Gross Hamburger Many Out Sick Something Year
If I could find the right kind of property, get tied in with the right movie, I’d love to be involved, but I just find it hard to be motivated to do another screenplay right now.
AL YANKOVIC

Another Find Involve Just Kind Motivate Movie Property Right Screenplay Tie
I’m always a little leery about doing shows where I’m not the headliner because when I first started playing in 1982 I opened for Missing Persons and got pelted for 45 minutes.
AL YANKOVIC

Always Decision Do Headline Leery Little Miss People Play Point Show Start
I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue.
AL YANKOVIC

Big Date Foot Put Sally Siamese Slept Too Twin
If something is good enough, it can be out there and people will see it.
AL YANKOVIC

Enough Good People See Something
I do a lot of different things, sometimes at the same time, and it’s very difficult to figure out where I fit.
AL YANKOVIC

Different Difficult Figure Out Same Sometimes Thing
So that was a joke that I continue up to this very day.
AL YANKOVIC

Continue Day Joke That Up Very
The window doesn’t open, the fan is broke, and my face is turning blue. I haven’t been in a crowd like this since I went to see the Who.
AL YANKOVIC

Ace Blue Broke Crowd Fan Open Since Turn Window
My hobbies just sort of gradually became my vocation.
AL YANKOVIC

Gradually Hobby Sort Vocation
In fact, when I come up with an idea for a parody I try to resist the urge to Google the idea to see if someone has done it already because the answer is almost always, “Yes, of course they have, they’ve thought of it!”
AL YANKOVIC

Come Fact Google Idea Parody Resist Someone
I don’t watch a lot of other people’s parodies because I don’t want to be unduly influenced.
AL YANKOVIC

Influence People Unduly Watch
People never ask people doing serious music, ‘Do you ever think about doing funny music?’
AL YANKOVIC

Do Funny Music People Serious Think

Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain.

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Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain.

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