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As a kid, I certainly never thought I would get to spend my life doing something fun.

Al Yankovic

Some people want to advertise their weirdness, and spread it out, that’s not me.
AL YANKOVIC

Advertise Out People Want Some Spread Weird
I don’t really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I’ve never been to therapy so there’s probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don’t know.
AL YANKOVIC

Attention Crave Look Person Probably Stuff Therapy
About four or five months ago, at a dinner in New York, John made the very nice offer of my being guest editor for an issue of MAD and I thought about it for about half a nanosecond and decided that was a pretty good idea.
AL YANKOVIC

Editor Five Good Guest Idea Issue Month Nanosecond Nice Offer Pretty
I make charts of songs that are good candidates, good targets, so to speak.
AL YANKOVIC

Candidate Chart Good Idea Song Speak Target Try
There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can’t think of a clever enough idea.
AL YANKOVIC

Candidate Enough Good Idea Ostensibly Parody Song Think
You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but don’t step on my blue suede shoes.
AL YANKOVIC

Choose Our Shoe Step Suede Underwear Want
My brothers and sisters hated me because I was an only child.
AL YANKOVIC

Brother Children Hate Only Child Sister
People never ask people doing serious music, ‘Do you ever think about doing funny music?’
AL YANKOVIC

Do Funny Music People Serious Think
If money can’t buy happiness, then I guess I’ll have to rent it.
AL YANKOVIC

Buy Happiness Guess Money Rent Sassy
I think that nerds, if you want to call them that, have only gotten more hip and assimilated into the culture.
AL YANKOVIC

Assimilate Call Culture Gotten More Nerd Think Want
I have very mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career.
AL YANKOVIC

Career Concern Copyright Download Feel Hand MIxed One Rampant Song
Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I’m praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.
AL YANKOVIC

Automatic Brand Laser Play Revenge Semi Sight Tonight Try
Then I try to come up with ideas for parodies. And 99% of those ideas are horrible.
AL YANKOVIC

Come Horrible Idea Parody
If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.
AL YANKOVIC

Avoid Discuss Heat Paper Political Politics Religion Toilet
You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will.
AL YANKOVIC

Barbecue Down Face Heal Heart Scar Slam
I’m just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.
AL YANKOVIC

Boot Esteem Good Grovel Hunk Low Nose Self Slime Worthless

As a kid, I certainly never thought I would get to spend my life doing something fun.

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As a kid, I certainly never thought I would get to spend my life doing something fun.

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