The horrible truth is that I am lazy and I am going to write and do bits that just hand themselves to me.
AL MADRIGALThe horrible truth is that I am lazy and I am going to write and do bits that just hand themselves to me.
AL MADRIGALI bullshit on the phone all day with a variety of people discussing various projects, and occasionally write jokes.
AL MADRIGALWell, once I fried tofu and put Sriracha on it. After that I was so depressed I swore off preparing food for myself altogether.
AL MADRIGALMinding my own business, humming out a ‘Frere Jacques’ – and I realized that in any other town, this might be considered cute. But you know what it is in San Francisco? Sexy.
AL MADRIGALStop throwing us all together like some sort of Puerto Ricaminican Tex-Mex buffet.
AL MADRIGALMy primary responsibility is to be funny.
AL MADRIGALBring the sand toys! Bring the sand toys!’ And I know what happens every single time.
AL MADRIGALNear my house in Los Angeles is a waterfall. I love to take the wife and kids, but it’s also near a sketchy neighborhood. So there’s a lot of gang members that hang out at the waterfall. It’s like somebody took an Ansel Adams photo and then put a Cypress Hill video inside it.
AL MADRIGALIf you want to be hip to the lingo, they’re not using the word dong up in the States.
AL MADRIGALWe’re down in Mexico. It’s for a bachelor party, so we go into a Mexican strip club.
AL MADRIGALI’m always alone. Sad face emoticon.
AL MADRIGALDon’t bring your sand toys to the park. That’s another bad move. Because I go to the park, and I’m on the Vicodin and a little weed too – let’s face it – and I go in there, and my wife’s like.
AL MADRIGALGo ahead, take out your dong.’ ‘I’m not taking out my dong. And by the way, who uses the word dong?
AL MADRIGALYou grow up real quick, a half-Mexican in a sailor’s suit, because I’d be riding the streetcar to school everyday.
AL MADRIGALI go back with this woman down a murky hallway, and then without missing a beat – these ladies are all business – she goes.
AL MADRIGALI become sand toy repo man from the eight little kids that run off in nine different directions with my sand toys.
AL MADRIGAL