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Go ahead, take out your dong.’ ‘I’m not taking out my dong. And by the way, who uses the word dong?

Al Madrigal

Go ahead, take out your dong.’ ‘I’m not taking out my dong. And by the way, who uses the word dong?
AL MADRIGAL

Ahead Do Dong State Take Use Way
Don’t bring your sand toys to the park. That’s another bad move. Because I go to the park, and I’m on the Vicodin and a little weed too – let’s face it – and I go in there, and my wife’s like.
AL MADRIGAL

Another Bad Bring Face Go Like Little Move Park Sand Toy Weed Wife
If you want to be hip to the lingo, they’re not using the word dong up in the States.
AL MADRIGAL

Dong Hip Hop Lingo State Use Want Word
I’m always alone. Sad face emoticon.
AL MADRIGAL

Always Alone Faces Sad Face
I go back with this woman down a murky hallway, and then without missing a beat – these ladies are all business – she goes.
AL MADRIGAL

Back Beat Busines Business Go Lady Miss She Woman
Near my house in Los Angeles is a waterfall. I love to take the wife and kids, but it’s also near a sketchy neighborhood. So there’s a lot of gang members that hang out at the waterfall. It’s like somebody took an Ansel Adams photo and then put a Cypress Hill video inside it.
AL MADRIGAL

Country House Near Waterfall
Well, once I fried tofu and put Sriracha on it. After that I was so depressed I swore off preparing food for myself altogether.
AL MADRIGAL

Depress Food Fried Myself Once Prepare Sriracha Swore Tofu Together Well
Bring the sand toys! Bring the sand toys!’ And I know what happens every single time.
AL MADRIGAL

Bring Every Happen Know Sand Single Time Toy
The horrible truth is that I am lazy and I am going to write and do bits that just hand themselves to me.
AL MADRIGAL

Bit Go Hand Horrible Lazy Themselves Truth Write
Im so sick of people treating Latinos like some homogenous group that all feel the same way about everything.
AL MADRIGAL

Air Everything Feel Group Homogenous People Same Sick Some Treat Way
We’re down in Mexico. It’s for a bachelor party, so we go into a Mexican strip club.
AL MADRIGAL

Bachelor Club Country Down Go Party Strip
Stop throwing us all together like some sort of Puerto Ricaminican Tex-Mex buffet.
AL MADRIGAL

Buffet Country Some Sort Throw Together
Minding my own business, humming out a ‘Frere Jacques’ – and I realized that in any other town, this might be considered cute. But you know what it is in San Francisco? Sexy.
AL MADRIGAL

Business Consider Country Cute Free Humm Mind Other Own Realize Sexy Town
I become sand toy repo man from the eight little kids that run off in nine different directions with my sand toys.
AL MADRIGAL

Become Different Direction Eight Kid Little Man Nine Repo Run Sand Toy
You grow up real quick, a half-Mexican in a sailor’s suit, because I’d be riding the streetcar to school everyday.
AL MADRIGAL

Country Cute Day Every Growing Half Quick Real Ride Sailor School Sexy Streetcar Suit Up
I bullshit on the phone all day with a variety of people discussing various projects, and occasionally write jokes.
AL MADRIGAL

All Bullsgit Discuss Joke Occasion People Phone Project Say Variety Various Write

Go ahead, take out your dong.’ ‘I’m not taking out my dong. And by the way, who uses the word dong?

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Go ahead, take out your dong.’ ‘I’m not taking out my dong. And by the way, who uses the word dong?

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Popular Authors

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