Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
AL FRANKENThe important thing about advice is that it is simply that. Advice.
More Al Franken Quotes
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But when the veteran has a dog, the same people will come up and say, ‘Hi’ to pet the dog and then strike up a conversation.
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But I think it’s a good thing. Some people thought that it was an odd career arc, but to me it made absolute sense.
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Well, I think that there’s a value to comedy in and of itself.
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There’s an element of that that’s either God-given, a talent that you’re not necessarily responsible for.
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I feel a deep obligation to the men and women who have risked life and limb on our behalf.
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Sometimes if I tell people, ‘I’m afraid that I’m really a fraud,’ or ‘I have a lot of self-doubt,’ they go.
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Technology is an incredible tool – it connects people to each other.
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Net neutrality has been in place since the very beginning of the Internet.
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Google might be doping the horses.
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Anybody who deliberately propagandizes with lies should be held up to scorn and ridicule.
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Tend to be people who didn’t take S.A.T.s, or first-time voters, or people with English as a second language.
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The crash of 2008 was driven in no small part by unfair practices in the mortgage industry which led to many consumers being trapped in loans they didn’t understand and couldn’t afford.
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Some of George W. Bush’s friends say that Bush believes God called him to be president during these times of trial.
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We need to be pro-science; we have to go back to science.
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I’m crushed by the responsibility of writing a satirical book.
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