People lucky enough to live in the vicinity of an industrial hog farm are, with each breath, made keenly aware of the cause of their declining property values.
AL FRANKENTo ask whether the mainstream media has a conservative or liberal bias is like asking whether al-Qaida uses too much oil in their hummus. It’s – I think they might use too much oil in their hummus – but it’s the wrong question.
More Al Franken Quotes
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Whining is anger through a small opening.
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There is a subset of Democrats who tend to mis-fill out ballots. The way you mark the ballot is like an S.A.T. – you fill in the circle. And the subset of people who tend to, like, put a check there instead, or an X, or fill it out wrong.
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And the agencies concluded that the Russians had a clear preference for President Trump.
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I’m the New York Jew who actually grew up in Minnesota.
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The Republican agenda is a radical vision in which Medicaid is slashed to the bone – in which we start to balance the budget on the backs of, literally, our most vulnerable citizens.
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Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad and helping your loved one grow.
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Humor and seriousness are not in opposition to each other.
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For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.
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I want a president who can handle a cream soda.
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I’m angry at the right wing media. And by that I don’t mean the media is right wing.
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You can’t change your fingerprints. You have only ten of them. And you leave them on everything you touch; they are definitely not a secret.
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The biases the media has are much bigger than conservative or liberal.
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Some of my colleagues seem more interested in using every procedural method possible to keep the Senate from doing anything than they are in creating jobs or helping Americans struggling in a difficult economy.
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When I first started writing for television in the seventies and eighties, the Internet didn’t exist.
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You have to love your country like an adult loves somebody, not like a child loves its Mommy. And right-wing Republicans tend to love America like a child loves its Mommy, where everything Mommy does is okay.
AL FRANKEN






