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I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

Al Franken

One thing I’ve noticed about politics is that these guys have pretty thick hides.
AL FRANKEN

Guy Hide Notice One Politics Pretty Thick Thing
You see, they love America like a 4-year-old loves his mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad.
AL FRANKEN

Bad Country Criticize Everything Grow Up Liberal Love Mommy Powerful
I might think they use a little bit too much oil; some people might think it’s a little dry. But the problem with al Qaeda is they want to kill us.
AL FRANKEN

Dry Kill Little might Much Person Problem Think Us Use
But when the veteran has a dog, the same people will come up and say, ‘Hi’ to pet the dog and then strike up a conversation.
AL FRANKEN

Come Conversation Dog Pet Place Same Say Strike Up
The important thing about advice is that it is simply that. Advice.
AL FRANKEN

Advice Important Simply Think
Minnesotans know the difference between the job of satirist and the job of senator. And so do I.
AL FRANKEN

Between Difference Do Job Minnesotan Satirist
Demagoguery sells. And therefore, radio stations will put it on. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t do something else and also make it sell.
AL FRANKEN

Demagoguery Else Mean On Put Radio Sell Something Station
And we didn’t need to worry about foreign websites illegally distributing the latest TV shows and blockbuster movies online.
AL FRANKEN

Blockbuster Distribute Foreign Latest Movie Online Serial Show Website
To ask whether the mainstream media has a conservative or liberal bias is like asking whether al-Qaida uses too much oil in their hummus. It’s – I think they might use too much oil in their hummus – but it’s the wrong question.
AL FRANKEN

Ask Bias Conservative Liberal Like Mainstream Much Oil Think Use
If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor.
AL FRANKEN

Humor Look Really Sense Terrorist
The institutions that we’ve built up over the years to protect our individual privacy rights from the government don’t apply to the private sector.
AL FRANKEN

Apply Built Government Individual Institution Privacy Private Protect Right Sector Year
I believe in not attacking a country pre-emptively unless you’re sure of what you’re doing and you’re working with allies.
AL FRANKEN

Allie Attack Believe Country Doing Sure Unless Work
The thing that interests me least about the radio business is the radio business. But I’ve had to learn a little bit about it. It’s not rocket science: You get ratings, that’s good.
AL FRANKEN

Business Good Interest Least Little Radio Rating Rocket Science Thing
The government must give proper weight to both keeping America safe from terrorists and protecting Americans’ privacy.
AL FRANKEN

Country Government Keep Knowing Privacy Proper Protect Safe Terrorist Weight
Yeah, but you need an experienced radio veteran who is a liberal advocate. And there just hadn’t been any radio that did that. And so they weren’t trained.
AL FRANKEN

Advocate Country Experience Liberal Need Radio Stuff Train
I also focus on Bush and his administration – who do a lot of lying – and how a right-wing media has allowed them to get away with a lot of stuff that, in a different media environment, they probably wouldn’t be able to get away with.
AL FRANKEN

Administration Allow Different Do Environment Focus Lie Lot Media Probably Right Stuff Wing

I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

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I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

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