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I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

Al Franken

But in the right-wing media, they do have a right-wing bias. And they also have an agenda. So their agenda is: we’re an adjunct of the Republican Party, and we’re going push that agenda every day, and, as you say, brand these stories that help further the right-wing cause.
AL FRANKEN

Agenda Also Bias Media Party Right Wing
Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way.
AL FRANKEN

Human Inspirational Motivational Part Success
Let’s keep the Internet weird. Let’s keep the Internet free.
AL FRANKEN

Free Internet Keep Let Weird
Teen pregnancy went way down in the ’90s, and 75 percent of it was because of increased use of contraception.
AL FRANKEN

Contraception Down Increase Pregnancy Use Way Went
And terror is indiscriminate murder of civilians to make a political point.
AL FRANKEN

Indiscriminate Make Murder Point Political Terror
You can’t change your fingerprints. You have only ten of them. And you leave them on everything you touch; they are definitely not a secret.
AL FRANKEN

Change Definite Everything Fingerprint Leave Secret Touch
If 98 out of 100 doctors tell me I’ve got a problem, I should take their advice.
AL FRANKEN

Advice Doctor Problem Snack Take Teall Two
Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
AL FRANKEN

Masturbate Mistake Okay Today Want Written
Medicare was established to secure that promise.
AL FRANKEN

Establish Medicare Promise Secure
It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.
AL FRANKEN

Carpet Inspirational Put Slipper Whole World
Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world.
AL FRANKEN

Attention Best Love Take Thing Work World
If you use Facebook – as I do – Facebook in all likelihood has a unique digital file of your face, one that can be as accurate as a fingerprint and that can be used to identify you in a photo of a large crowd.
AL FRANKEN

Digital Face Facebook Fingerprint Life Likelihood Photo Unique Use
Call-time has renewed my faith in the need for public financing of elections. Call-time is where I as the candidate, sit in a room with my “call-time manager,” and a phone. Then I call people and ask them for money. For hours. Apparently, I’m really good at it.
AL FRANKEN

Ask Call Candidate Election Faith Finance Manage Money Need People Phone Public Renew Room Time
The right wing has had a radio apparatus for years and years, so they’ve had minor leagues.
AL FRANKEN

Apparatus League Mirror Radio Right Team Wing Year
Veterans report that service dogs help break their isolation. People will often avert their eyes when they see a wounded veteran.
AL FRANKEN

Break Country Dog Eye Isolation People Service
My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett.
AL FRANKEN

Comedian Dad Especially Love People

I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

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I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

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