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Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!

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Masturbate Mistake Okay Today Want Written

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.
AL FRANKEN

Carpet Inspirational Put Slipper Whole World
By best, I mean when I have a real sense of doing the right thing and doing good for people and the connected universe of everybody.
AL FRANKEN

Best Connect Do Everybody Good Mean People Real Right Sense Thing Universe
Skepticism turns to cynicism, which leads to apathy and despair, which can cause sleeplessness, dry-mouth, and loss of sex drive?
AL FRANKEN

Apathy Cause Despair Drive Dry Lead Loss Mouth Sex Skepticism Sleeplessness Turn
I do have a self-censor; everybody does, or at least most who are not pathological do.
AL FRANKEN

Censor Do Doe Everybody Least Most Pathology Self
I’m angry at the right wing media. And by that I don’t mean the media is right wing.
AL FRANKEN

Angry Media Right Wing
Minnesotans know the difference between the job of satirist and the job of senator. And so do I.
AL FRANKEN

Between Difference Do Job Minnesotan Satirist
creates jobs all over the world, and makes life easier for millions of Americans.
AL FRANKEN

All Country Create Easier Job Life Make Million Over People World
My dad didn’t graduate from high school, ended up being a printing salesman, probably never made more than $8,000 a year.
AL FRANKEN

Dad End Graduate Mom Print Real Salesman School
It is my fondest wish that in the fullness of time, the American people will look back on the Franken presidency as something of a mixed bag and not as a complete disaster.
AL FRANKEN

Back Bag Country Disaster Fondest Fullness Look Mix People President Something Time Wish
And we didn’t need to worry about foreign websites illegally distributing the latest TV shows and blockbuster movies online.
AL FRANKEN

Blockbuster Distribute Foreign Latest Movie Online Serial Show Website
The only job they had, which is to give accurate, objective ratings to financial products.
AL FRANKEN

Accurate Financial Job Objective Only Project Rating
The way I see it, I’m not going to Washington to be the 60th Democratic senator. I’m going to Washington to be the second senator from the state of Minnesota.
AL FRANKEN

Country Democrat Go Minnesota Second Senator State Way
And the problem with the mainstream media is that it has these other biases that are much more important.
AL FRANKEN

Bise Dry Kill Mainstream Media Other Person Problem These
I’ve spent my entire career being a satirist.
AL FRANKEN

Career Entire Satirist Spent
Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world.
AL FRANKEN

Attention Best Love Take Thing Work World
The news movement conservatives that are just laying out, slathering out the disinformation and the lies, as I discuss in my book, ‘Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right.’
AL FRANKEN

Balance Book Conservative Discuss Disinformation Fair Just Lay Lie Like Look Movement News Out Slather

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