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For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Comedy to the Senate? Well, there certainly hasn’t been a satirist or a political satirist who’s done that. So, that really was uncharted territory during the campaign.
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If someone hacks your password, you can change it – as many times as you want.
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I’ve never understood why we would want to deny all the joys – and the challenges – of marriage to anyone.
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And we didn’t need to worry about foreign websites illegally distributing the latest TV shows and blockbuster movies online.
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When the Constitution was written, the founders had no way of anticipating the new technologies that would evolve in the coming centuries.
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I mean, there is a part of the media that’s not the mainstream media. That’s Fox, that is ‘The Wall Street Journal’ editorial page.
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It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.
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Antitrust law isn’t about protecting competing businesses from each other, it’s about protecting competition itself on behalf of the public.
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He said we had enough to go three years without making money, and we had enough to go three weeks.
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It’s hard for a liberal to go on between Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, because it’s like doing country music after hip-hop. I mean, just, the audience doesn’t go from one to the other.
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It’s really building Air America that I’m focused on, and for me, that almost only means doing a good show.
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I might think they use a little bit too much oil; some people might think it’s a little dry. But the problem with al Qaeda is they want to kill us.
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I believe in not attacking a country pre-emptively unless you’re sure of what you’re doing and you’re working with allies.
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People who have severe mental illness are in Hell. People who have lost a loved one are in Hell.
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I’m the New York Jew who actually grew up in Minnesota.
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When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.
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