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I really do know football.

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Do Football Know Really

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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Pander Time Trying Want
I love it when I come across a word I don’t know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren’t smart enough to come along with me.
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Across Audience Come Enough Know Smart Treat Word
You just have to keep getting up’. And I look back and they were right. They were all right.
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Back Getting Keep Look Right Up
Whereas regular people tend to run away – because the embarrassing story is always going to be the really funny story.
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Always Away Funny Going People Regular Run Story
I was born in California, raised a vegetarian, and love science fiction, so don’t tell me how I need to be in order to fit your standards.
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Country Fiction Fit Love Need Order Raise Science Standard Vegetarian
They always say some women like to fix people. I don’t like to fix people, but you like a challenge.
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Always Challenge Fix People Some Women
A belief in feminism is a belief in personal freedom.
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Belief Career Feminism Freedom Personal Want
I love Toronto. I love it. I love Toronto. I love Canada. I can’t wait to get back. Can’t wait to have some Timbits.
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Back Country Some Toronto Wait Waiting
I’m such a geek, and have always been a real nerd.
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Always Geek Nerd Real Such
Marriage is a mystery and part of it is just being kind to each other, not being selfish.
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Be Each Just Kind Marriage Mystery Other Selfish
I’m just myself, so I don’t know that I think of myself as a nerd icon.
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Icon Know Myself Nerd Thinking
Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.
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Definitely Gnawed Hand Man Maybe Nail Stubby
I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry.
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Control Doing Inventing Lying Myself Olympic Phone Visualize Wave Win Winning
So much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.
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Doing Funny Life Live Minute Much Quick Radio Sou Spot Stand Stranger Surgical Three
I think diversity in television is important. It’s not about trying to fill a quota or satisfy some idea of diversity.
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Diversity Fill Idea Important Opportunity Quita Satisfy Some Television Thinking Trying
If you haven’t noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of awesome.
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Astronaut Awesome Celebrity Drinking Driver Fun Party People Racecar Suck Unless Working

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