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I really do know football.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

When I was young I thought, ‘Yeah, people don’t see, they’re not recognizing how funny I am, and how talented I am’. And the guys that mentored me were like, ‘
AISHA TYLER

Funny Guy Look People Recognize Talented Thought
I love being married. I love my husband. I think married people always have that thing where they think that the grass is greener on the single side, but all my single friends are like,
AISHA TYLER

Fail Hate Husband Love Think Want
Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing, I suppose. I don’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I’m super-grateful.
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Bad Good Grateful Omnipresence Suppose Thing Thinking Want
Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don’t think so.
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Complain Going Smart Think Typecast
I’m sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.
AISHA TYLER

All Childhood Level Low Scurvy Sure
I was really unhappy. I had a great job that I should have loved, yet I was miserable. I slowly realized that was because I wasn’t performing. So I just tried stand-up and fell in love with it after one performance.
AISHA TYLER

Fell Job Love Miserable One Performing Realize Slowly Stand Unhappy
I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.
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Country Dehydrate Grade Green Most Seventh Smelling Spent Summer
Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
AISHA TYLER

Ability Ass Disappointment Feet Floor Real Sacrifice Scrape Sorry Stumble
I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry.
AISHA TYLER

Control Doing Inventing Lying Myself Olympic Phone Visualize Wave Win Winning
I actually wanted to be an attorney. I did do things on the side like improv and sketch comedy, but law was my focus. I was a very bookish, academic kid. When I got out of college,
AISHA TYLER

Academic Actually Attorney Bookish College Comedy Focus Improv Kid Law Sketch Thing Want
On general principle, I boycott shows that don’t employ actors.
AISHA TYLER

Actor Boycott Employ General Principle Show
I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
AISHA TYLER

Attract Before Douch Drunken Married Thinking
Marriage is a mystery and part of it is just being kind to each other, not being selfish.
AISHA TYLER

Be Each Just Kind Marriage Mystery Other Selfish
Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.
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Bad Culture Great Pop Time
Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work.
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Accomplishment Passionate Require Running Sorry Success Wall Work
If you haven’t noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of awesome.
AISHA TYLER

Astronaut Awesome Celebrity Drinking Driver Fun Party People Racecar Suck Unless Working

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