We are at our most stupid in our self-hatred.
ADAM PHILLIPSEverybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves.
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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We have been taught to wish for it, but the wish to be understood may be our most vengeful demand, may be the way we hang on, as adults ,
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Wanting to be understood, as adults, can be our most violent form of nostalgia.
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The child..will try to make himself..independent of other people. .
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Excesses of appetite are self-cures for feelings of hopelessness. ..
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When we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
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The past influences everything and dictates nothing.
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People change, but there really are limits.
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Lovers, of course, are notoriously frantic epistemologists, second only to paranoiacs (and analysts) as readers of signs and wonders.
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To keep faith with recognition we have to stay recognizable.
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The child [uses] ‘doubt about food to hide doubt about love.’
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we are continually under threat from what we are unwilling and/or unable to see.
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To our grudge against our mothers; the way we never let our mothers off the hook for their not meeting our every need.
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Sanity, in other words, becomes a pressing preoccupation as soon as we recognize the importance of recognition.
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Transgression is a quest for solitude
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The child can find out what the object ..might be only by finding ..obstacles to its access
ADAM PHILLIPS