There is nothing more scandalous than a happy marriage
ADAM PHILLIPSEverybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves.
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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The past influences everything and dictates nothing.
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When we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
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The whole notion of sanity may be an attempt to medicalize morality – to speak of the good in the language of health: to make us more accurate, more scientific in our wanting – but by the same token it becomes a form of moral blackmail.
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we are continually under threat from what we are unwilling and/or unable to see.
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Sanity, in other words, becomes a pressing preoccupation as soon as we recognize the importance of recognition.
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One thing you discover in psychoanalytic treatment is the limits of what you can change about yourself or your life.
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It is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
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To grow up is to discover what one is unequal to.
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We are children for a very long time.
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The vocabulary of one’s self-criticism is so impoverished and clichéd.
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People change, but there really are limits.
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Lovers, of course, are notoriously frantic epistemologists, second only to paranoiacs (and analysts) as readers of signs and wonders.
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Transgression is a quest for solitude
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The child..will try to make himself..independent of other people. .
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Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
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