Tragic heroes are failed pragmatists. Their ends are unrealistic and their means are impractical.
ADAM PHILLIPSWanting to be understood, as adults, can be our most violent form of nostalgia.
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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Everybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves.
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Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
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Sanity, in other words, becomes a pressing preoccupation as soon as we recognize the importance of recognition.
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The child..will try to make himself..independent of other people. .
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It is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
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The whole notion of sanity may be an attempt to medicalize morality – to speak of the good in the language of health: to make us more accurate, more scientific in our wanting – but by the same token it becomes a form of moral blackmail.
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To keep faith with recognition we have to stay recognizable.
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When we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
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we are continually under threat from what we are unwilling and/or unable to see.
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Lovers, of course, are notoriously frantic epistemologists, second only to paranoiacs (and analysts) as readers of signs and wonders.
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The child [uses] ‘doubt about food to hide doubt about love.’
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I am always true to myself, that is the problem. Who else could I be true to?
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To grow up is to discover what one is unequal to.
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Believing in religion is like believing that adulthood is the solution to childhood.
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We are tyrannized by our blind spots, and by whatever it is about ourselves that we find unacceptable.
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People change, but there really are limits.
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Excesses of appetite are self-cures for feelings of hopelessness. ..
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You write to find out what you believe.
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We have been taught to wish for it, but the wish to be understood may be our most vengeful demand, may be the way we hang on, as adults ,
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The big secret about Art is that no one wants it to be true.
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The child can find out what the object ..might be only by finding ..obstacles to its access
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There is nothing more scandalous than a happy marriage
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One thing you discover in psychoanalytic treatment is the limits of what you can change about yourself or your life.
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The vocabulary of one’s self-criticism is so impoverished and clichéd.
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We are children for a very long time.
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Sanity, as the project of keeping ourselves recognizably human, therefore has to limit the range of human experience.
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