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Wanting to be understood, as adults, can be our most violent form of nostalgia.

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Adult Most Nostalgia Understood Violent Wanting

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Tragic heroes are failed pragmatists. Their ends are unrealistic and their means are impractical.
ADAM PHILLIPS

End Failed Hero Impractical Mean Pragmatist Unrealistic
Everybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves.
ADAM PHILLIPS

Aliveness Bear Dealing Everybody Everything Need
Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
ADAM PHILLIPS

Down Getting Minimum Monogamy Version Way
Sanity, in other words, becomes a pressing preoccupation as soon as we recognize the importance of recognition.
ADAM PHILLIPS

Importance Preoccupation Pressing Recognition Recognize Sanity Word
The child..will try to make himself..independent of other people. .
ADAM PHILLIPS

Child Children Independent People Self Try
It is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
ADAM PHILLIPS

Child Cultivated Encourage Feeling Form Reward Speaking Valued Wanting
The whole notion of sanity may be an attempt to medicalize morality – to speak of the good in the language of health: to make us more accurate, more scientific in our wanting – but by the same token it becomes a form of moral blackmail.
ADAM PHILLIPS

Accurate Blackmail Children Feeling Good Health Language Mad Moral Morality Sanity Scientific Speak
To keep faith with recognition we have to stay recognizable.
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Faith Keep Recognition Recognizable Stay
When we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
ADAM PHILLIPS

Comprehend Define Describe Ourselves Rather Recognize
we are continually under threat from what we are unwilling and/or unable to see.
ADAM PHILLIPS

Continually Look See Threat Unable Unwilling
Lovers, of course, are notoriously frantic epistemologists, second only to paranoiacs (and analysts) as readers of signs and wonders.
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Analyst Epistemologist Lover Notoriously Paranoiacs Reader Sign Wonder
The child [uses] ‘doubt about food to hide doubt about love.’
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Child Doubt Food Hide Love
I am always true to myself, that is the problem. Who else could I be true to?
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Anand Thakur
To grow up is to discover what one is unequal to.
ADAM PHILLIPS

Discover Grow Growing Up Unequal
Believing in religion is like believing that adulthood is the solution to childhood.
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Adulthood Believe Childhood Religion Solution
We are tyrannized by our blind spots, and by whatever it is about ourselves that we find unacceptable.
ADAM PHILLIPS

Ourselves Spot Tyrannized Unacceptable Whatever
People change, but there really are limits.
ADAM PHILLIPS

Change Limit People Reality
Excesses of appetite are self-cures for feelings of hopelessness. ..
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Appetite Cure Excesses Feeling Hopelessness Self
You write to find out what you believe.
ADAM PHILLIPS

Believe Find Out Writing
We have been taught to wish for it, but the wish to be understood may be our most vengeful demand, may be the way we hang on, as adults ,
ADAM PHILLIPS

Adult Hang Mother Psychology Taught Understanding
The big secret about Art is that no one wants it to be true.
ADAM PHILLIPS

Art Big Secret True Want
The child can find out what the object ..might be only by finding ..obstacles to its access
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Access Child Children Finding might Object Obstacle
There is nothing more scandalous than a happy marriage
ADAM PHILLIPS

Happy Marriage More Nothing Scandalous
One thing you discover in psychoanalytic treatment is the limits of what you can change about yourself or your life.
ADAM PHILLIPS

Change Discover Life Psychoanalytic Thing Treatment Yourself
The vocabulary of one’s self-criticism is so impoverished and clichéd.
ADAM PHILLIPS

Cliched Criticism Impoverisjhed Self Stupid Vocabulary
We are children for a very long time.
ADAM PHILLIPS

Children Long Time Very
Sanity, as the project of keeping ourselves recognizably human, therefore has to limit the range of human experience.
ADAM PHILLIPS

Blind Spots Experience Human Limit Recognition

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