We are tyrannized by our blind spots, and by whatever it is about ourselves that we find unacceptable.
ADAM PHILLIPSWhen we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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When we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
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There is nothing more terrorizing than the possibility that nothing is hidden.
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Transgression is a quest for solitude
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Everybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves.
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There is nothing more scandalous than a happy marriage
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People change, but there really are limits.
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To our grudge against our mothers; the way we never let our mothers off the hook for their not meeting our every need.
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It is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
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Excesses of appetite are self-cures for feelings of hopelessness. ..
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There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs
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To keep faith with recognition we have to stay recognizable.
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The whole notion of sanity may be an attempt to medicalize morality – to speak of the good in the language of health: to make us more accurate, more scientific in our wanting – but by the same token it becomes a form of moral blackmail.
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The child..will try to make himself..independent of other people. .
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Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
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Sanity, in other words, becomes a pressing preoccupation as soon as we recognize the importance of recognition.
ADAM PHILLIPS