The past influences everything and dictates nothing.
ADAM PHILLIPSEverybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves.
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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People change, but there really are limits.
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The whole notion of sanity may be an attempt to medicalize morality – to speak of the good in the language of health: to make us more accurate, more scientific in our wanting – but by the same token it becomes a form of moral blackmail.
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The child [uses] ‘doubt about food to hide doubt about love.’
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Believing in religion is like believing that adulthood is the solution to childhood.
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Everybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves.
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We have been taught to wish for it, but the wish to be understood may be our most vengeful demand, may be the way we hang on, as adults ,
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The child..will try to make himself..independent of other people. .
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Transgression is a quest for solitude
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There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs
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To our grudge against our mothers; the way we never let our mothers off the hook for their not meeting our every need.
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We are children for a very long time.
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We are at our most stupid in our self-hatred.
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The child can find out what the object ..might be only by finding ..obstacles to its access
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Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
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Excesses of appetite are self-cures for feelings of hopelessness. ..
ADAM PHILLIPS