We are tyrannized by our blind spots, and by whatever it is about ourselves that we find unacceptable.
ADAM PHILLIPSWe are tyrannized by our blind spots, and by whatever it is about ourselves that we find unacceptable.
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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To grow up is to discover what one is unequal to.
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Transgression is a quest for solitude
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We are children for a very long time.
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Wanting to be understood, as adults, can be our most violent form of nostalgia.
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Believing in religion is like believing that adulthood is the solution to childhood.
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People change, but there really are limits.
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The vocabulary of one’s self-criticism is so impoverished and clichéd.
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There is nothing more scandalous than a happy marriage
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We are at our most stupid in our self-hatred.
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Everybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves.
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Sanity, in other words, becomes a pressing preoccupation as soon as we recognize the importance of recognition.
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we are continually under threat from what we are unwilling and/or unable to see.
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The child..will try to make himself..independent of other people. .
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Excesses of appetite are self-cures for feelings of hopelessness. ..
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The whole notion of sanity may be an attempt to medicalize morality – to speak of the good in the language of health: to make us more accurate, more scientific in our wanting – but by the same token it becomes a form of moral blackmail.
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The big secret about Art is that no one wants it to be true.
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I am always true to myself, that is the problem. Who else could I be true to?
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One thing you discover in psychoanalytic treatment is the limits of what you can change about yourself or your life.
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When we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
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To keep faith with recognition we have to stay recognizable.
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There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs
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Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
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Lovers, of course, are notoriously frantic epistemologists, second only to paranoiacs (and analysts) as readers of signs and wonders.
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The child can find out what the object ..might be only by finding ..obstacles to its access
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To our grudge against our mothers; the way we never let our mothers off the hook for their not meeting our every need.
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We have been taught to wish for it, but the wish to be understood may be our most vengeful demand, may be the way we hang on, as adults ,
ADAM PHILLIPS