We have been taught to wish for it, but the wish to be understood may be our most vengeful demand, may be the way we hang on, as adults ,
ADAM PHILLIPSThere is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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To grow up is to discover what one is unequal to.
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It is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
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When we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
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The vocabulary of one’s self-criticism is so impoverished and clichéd.
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We are children for a very long time.
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Lovers, of course, are notoriously frantic epistemologists, second only to paranoiacs (and analysts) as readers of signs and wonders.
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People change, but there really are limits.
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The big secret about Art is that no one wants it to be true.
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We are at our most stupid in our self-hatred.
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Sanity, as the project of keeping ourselves recognizably human, therefore has to limit the range of human experience.
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The past influences everything and dictates nothing.
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To keep faith with recognition we have to stay recognizable.
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You write to find out what you believe.
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Believing in religion is like believing that adulthood is the solution to childhood.
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One thing you discover in psychoanalytic treatment is the limits of what you can change about yourself or your life.
ADAM PHILLIPS