When we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
ADAM PHILLIPSThere is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs
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The vocabulary of one’s self-criticism is so impoverished and clichéd.
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To our grudge against our mothers; the way we never let our mothers off the hook for their not meeting our every need.
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The child can find out what the object ..might be only by finding ..obstacles to its access
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Believing in religion is like believing that adulthood is the solution to childhood.
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You write to find out what you believe.
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We are tyrannized by our blind spots, and by whatever it is about ourselves that we find unacceptable.
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One thing you discover in psychoanalytic treatment is the limits of what you can change about yourself or your life.
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I am always true to myself, that is the problem. Who else could I be true to?
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Wanting to be understood, as adults, can be our most violent form of nostalgia.
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Lovers, of course, are notoriously frantic epistemologists, second only to paranoiacs (and analysts) as readers of signs and wonders.
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Transgression is a quest for solitude
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We have been taught to wish for it, but the wish to be understood may be our most vengeful demand, may be the way we hang on, as adults ,
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we are continually under threat from what we are unwilling and/or unable to see.
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Sanity, in other words, becomes a pressing preoccupation as soon as we recognize the importance of recognition.
ADAM PHILLIPS