We have been taught to wish for it, but the wish to be understood may be our most vengeful demand, may be the way we hang on, as adults ,
ADAM PHILLIPSThere is nothing more scandalous than a happy marriage
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
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It is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
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There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs
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One thing you discover in psychoanalytic treatment is the limits of what you can change about yourself or your life.
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The big secret about Art is that no one wants it to be true.
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To our grudge against our mothers; the way we never let our mothers off the hook for their not meeting our every need.
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Sanity, in other words, becomes a pressing preoccupation as soon as we recognize the importance of recognition.
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The past influences everything and dictates nothing.
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There is nothing more scandalous than a happy marriage
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There is nothing more terrorizing than the possibility that nothing is hidden.
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Excesses of appetite are self-cures for feelings of hopelessness. ..
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To grow up is to discover what one is unequal to.
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The child can find out what the object ..might be only by finding ..obstacles to its access
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Wanting to be understood, as adults, can be our most violent form of nostalgia.
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Sanity, as the project of keeping ourselves recognizably human, therefore has to limit the range of human experience.
ADAM PHILLIPS