To our grudge against our mothers; the way we never let our mothers off the hook for their not meeting our every need.
ADAM PHILLIPSSanity, as the project of keeping ourselves recognizably human, therefore has to limit the range of human experience.
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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The big secret about Art is that no one wants it to be true.
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The child [uses] ‘doubt about food to hide doubt about love.’
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To keep faith with recognition we have to stay recognizable.
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When we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
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People change, but there really are limits.
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I am always true to myself, that is the problem. Who else could I be true to?
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Excesses of appetite are self-cures for feelings of hopelessness. ..
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The child can find out what the object ..might be only by finding ..obstacles to its access
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There is nothing more scandalous than a happy marriage
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The vocabulary of one’s self-criticism is so impoverished and clichéd.
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Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
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Wanting to be understood, as adults, can be our most violent form of nostalgia.
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Everybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves.
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The whole notion of sanity may be an attempt to medicalize morality – to speak of the good in the language of health: to make us more accurate, more scientific in our wanting – but by the same token it becomes a form of moral blackmail.
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It is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
ADAM PHILLIPS