We have been taught to wish for it, but the wish to be understood may be our most vengeful demand, may be the way we hang on, as adults ,
ADAM PHILLIPSSanity, as the project of keeping ourselves recognizably human, therefore has to limit the range of human experience.
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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The child can find out what the object ..might be only by finding ..obstacles to its access
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Transgression is a quest for solitude
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Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
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To grow up is to discover what one is unequal to.
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The child..will try to make himself..independent of other people. .
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One thing you discover in psychoanalytic treatment is the limits of what you can change about yourself or your life.
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The past influences everything and dictates nothing.
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Excesses of appetite are self-cures for feelings of hopelessness. ..
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We are tyrannized by our blind spots, and by whatever it is about ourselves that we find unacceptable.
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The whole notion of sanity may be an attempt to medicalize morality – to speak of the good in the language of health: to make us more accurate, more scientific in our wanting – but by the same token it becomes a form of moral blackmail.
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There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs
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The child [uses] ‘doubt about food to hide doubt about love.’
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It is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
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We are children for a very long time.
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Believing in religion is like believing that adulthood is the solution to childhood.
ADAM PHILLIPS