I talk a lot about women in my act, ’cause let’s face it — if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
ADAM FERRARAGo to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, ‘Adam – uh, don’t kiss guys.’
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Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. ‘Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain’t getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.’
ADAM FERRARA -
If you look at a group of people that had faith, it’s got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, ‘I don’t think he knows where he’s going.’
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If you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.
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I love to believe that there’s one god but there’s many different religions so there’s just the question of which long distance company you pick.
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is ‘If it feels good – stop.’
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
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I love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
ADAM FERRARA -
Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
ADAM FERRARA -
The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
ADAM FERRARA -
I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
ADAM FERRARA -
I woke up my pop in the middle of the night ’cause the boogie man’s under my bed.
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You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don’t let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, ‘Well, why’d you put this spoon in this drawer then?’ ‘
ADAM FERRARA