What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
ADAM FERRARAGo to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It’s a special day in a man’s life. I was like, ‘Oh, I found me a hobby.’
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There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’
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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is ‘If it feels good – stop.’
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The only marriage I’ve observed for any length of time is my parents – 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, ‘Pop, 35 years – what do you hope for?’ He’s like, ‘I hope you die first.’
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I talk a lot about women in my act, ’cause let’s face it — if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.
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Whenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking…,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
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If you look at a group of people that had faith, it’s got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, ‘I don’t think he knows where he’s going.’
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I love to believe that there’s one god but there’s many different religions so there’s just the question of which long distance company you pick.
ADAM FERRARA