My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
ADAM FERRARAYou can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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Just to p-s you off, that’s why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.’
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I love my girlfriend, don’t get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It’s a gift.
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.
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You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
ADAM FERRARA -
I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.
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As soon as you lay down, that’s when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. ‘Goodnight, baby.’ ‘Do you think we were together in a past life?’ ‘Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
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Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: ‘Swear to God, man – the hooker gave the money back.’
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I love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you’re happy, you let us touch you.
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.
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I woke up my pop in the middle of the night ’cause the boogie man’s under my bed.
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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It’s a special day in a man’s life. I was like, ‘Oh, I found me a hobby.’
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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
ADAM FERRARA






