The human body is in constant change the minute we’re born. It’s in a constant state of decay. We’re all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
ADAM FERRARAThe girls are beautiful in Hollywood – and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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I love to believe that there’s one god but there’s many different religions so there’s just the question of which long distance company you pick.
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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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I talk a lot about women in my act, ’cause let’s face it — if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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If you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.
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I don’t think it’s fair – you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring.
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I woke up my pop in the middle of the night ’cause the boogie man’s under my bed.
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Just to p-s you off, that’s why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.’
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood – and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don’t let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, ‘Well, why’d you put this spoon in this drawer then?’ ‘
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Whenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking…,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
ADAM FERRARA