I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
ADAM FERRARAMy pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, ‘Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man’s under the bed!’ Pop opens one eye, he’s like, ‘Is the boogie man bigger than me?’ ‘
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.
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Whenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking…,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
ADAM FERRARA -
Just to p-s you off, that’s why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.’
ADAM FERRARA -
My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, ‘Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man’s under the bed!’ Pop opens one eye, he’s like, ‘Is the boogie man bigger than me?’ ‘
ADAM FERRARA -
The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
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I don’t think it’s fair – you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring.
ADAM FERRARA -
The girls are beautiful in Hollywood – and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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As soon as you lay down, that’s when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. ‘Goodnight, baby.’ ‘Do you think we were together in a past life?’ ‘Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
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Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. ‘Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain’t getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.’
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I talk a lot about women in my act, ’cause let’s face it — if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.
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There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’
ADAM FERRARA






