“People want to be friends with someone who likes to have a good time.”

The thing that I think a lot of guys need to know how to do is not take your mother’s advice about honesty being the best policy.

We [me and friends] like to have surprising stories, but the dynamic and the friendship is the same.

“Poor guy or poor girl, get offstage. You’re killing us.” But if you get onstage and you don’t sing that well but you give it your all, people will be like, “Yeah, I’ll chug beer to this!”.

Comics know that they do best. They might not be best to rewrite to another person’s comedy, but they know what is best for them. Luckily,

” But, in fact, if you do something you like to do and you’re good at it, you’re going to find someone who will like you for that reason.

When you go out with your crew of friends and you get into trouble, at the end of the night when you come home, you’re still the same crew of friends. It’s just the story that you have to tell.

Jealousy is the worst trait in any person.

Listen to your cool, drunk uncle who tells you to lie. Those are the relationships that last.

It’s really about committing super-hard to whatever you’re trying to create. In essence, I’m just copying my favorite comedic actors, and it’s the people who make me laugh the hardest who commit the hardest.

I come from both a writing background – with ‘Workaholics’ – and I also act in what I’ve written.

If you like standup and decide that it’s overtaking your life and want to hate it, watch 1,000 standup comedians who are trying to get on a TV show.

I’m always thinking, ‘my career is over, I have to move back to Omaha, and work on the railroad, with the rest of my family. So no, I’m never thinking I’ve ‘arrived.’ I think that’s a good way to be.

What’s cool about renting is that you don’t care about your house getting destroyed. So I think that is the number

The thing about singing is that if you’re having fun while doing it then people will have fun watching you do it.

Shakespeare was a smart dude. He was the president of Rome.

In high school I was worried about singing in a choir not being a cool thing, like “I want girls to like me so I don’t want to do something that’s not cool.

Animals are such agreeable friends – they ask no questions; they pass no criticisms.

I go through my comments sometimes, and I’ll just take snapshots of the terrible ones and send them to my friends.

A friend is one to whom one may pour out the contents of one’s heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that gentle hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.

Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles.

How could I stand the separation from family and friends? It is ironic, I say, that in an authoritarian state it is only the prisoner of conscience who is genuinely free. Yes, we have given up our right to a normal life. But we have stayed true to that most precious part of our humanity-our conscience.

A passport picture is a photo of a man that he can laugh at without realizing that it looks exactly the way his friends see him.

Don’t give up! Be friends with people who help you work hard.

I don’t sit around with my friends and talk about money, ever. On a record, that’s different.