“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.”

Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.

I am a slow walker, but I never walk back.

You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry.

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.

No man is good enough to govern another man without that other’s consent.

Stand with anyone that is right; stand with him while he is right and part with him when he goes wrong.

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.

Tact: the ability to describe others as they see themselves.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

To ease another’s heartache is to forget one’s own.

There are no bad pictures; that’s just how your face looks sometimes.

The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them.

Elections belong to the people. It’s their decision. If they decide to turn their back on the fire and burn their behinds, then they will just have to sit on their blisters.

Die when I may, I want it said of me by those who knew me best, that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower would grow.

You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.