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Never advise anyone to go to war or to get married.

Abigail Van Buren

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Advise Anyone Married War

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If you are looking for a kindly, well-to-do older gentleman who is no longer interested in sex, take out an ad in The Wall Street Journal.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Business Generation Interested Journal Kind Looking Older Sex Street Wall
It is a sad commentary of our times when our young must seek advice and counsel from ‘Dear Abby’ instead of going to Mom and Dad.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Advice Commentary Dad Inspiring Mom Sad Seek
So the richest are often the poorest as this saying goes, “Loneliness is the ultimate poverty”
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Loneliness Lonely Poorest Poverty Rich Ultimate
True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Dangerous Education Funny Ignorance Learning True
It is almost impossible to throw dirt on someone without getting a little on yourself
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Dirt Impossible Impossible. Someone Little Yourself
Many husbands today pitch in to help with household chores – it’s called partnership.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Chores Help Household Husband Partnership Today Women
Psychotherapy, unlike castor oil, which will work no matter how you get it down, is useless when forced on an uncooperative patient.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Castor Down Matter Oil Psychotherapy Useless Work
If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Children Family Inspirational Money Success
Maturity is the ability to do a job whether you’re supervised or not; finish a job once it’s started; carry money without spending it; and the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Ability Bear Finishes Job Maturity Start Supervise
If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Children Family Inspirational Motivational Responsibility
There is no end to the undeserved misery and mischief it could create.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Create End Mischief Misery Understand
I can’t think of a more potent combination than God and a good lawyer.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Combination God Good Lawyer Potent Thinking
If you want a place in the sun, you have got to put up with a few blisters.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Adversity Blister Few Inspirational Place Sun Want
I agree that marijuana laws are overdue for an overhaul. I also favor the medical use of marijuana – if it’s prescribed by a physician.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Doctor Favor Law Marijuana Medical Overdue Overhaul
If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we’d all be millionaires.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Business Experience Life Millionaire Sell Success
You could move.’ —“Dear Abby” responds to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Ash Compalined Couple Gay Moving Reader Respond

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