“A man who correctly guesses a woman`s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.”

How I Love Lucy was born? We decided that instead of divorce lawyers profiting from our mistakes, we’d profit from them.

I was shy for several years in my early days in Hollywood until I figured out that no one really gave a damn if I was shy or not, and I got over my shyness.

Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead.

I’m not funny. What I am is brave.

I am a real ham. I love an audience. I work better with an audience. I am dead, in fact, without one.

Now get the hell out of here and go change the world.

I never thought I was funny. I don’t THINK funny.

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

Television is the quickest form of recognition in the world.

Love yourself first and everything falls into line.

I will never do another TV series. It couldn’t top I Love Lucy, and I’d be foolish to try. In this business, you have to know when to get off.

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

Children internalize their parents’ unhappiness. Fortunately, they absorb our contentment just as readily.

If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it. The more things you do, the more you can do.

Knowing what you can not do is more important than knowing what you can do. In fact, that’s good taste.

People either have comedy or they don’t. You can’t teach it to them.