“Don’t ever give anybody your best advice, because they’re not going to follow it.”

The average celebrity meets, in one year, ten times the amount of people that the average person meets in his entire life.

My motto is more good times.

Frankly, I got into the movies because I like the movies a lot.

With my sunglasses on, I’m Jack Nicholson. Without them, I’m fat and 60.

It’s a slight stretch of the imagination but most people are alike in most ways so I’ve never had any trouble identifying with the character that I’m playing.

I don’t think many people have a very good understanding of leisure and the importance it plays in our lives.

There’s only two people in your life you should lie to… the police and your girlfriend.

A lot of people can’t remember things because they weren’t actually there to begin with – they don’t take it all in.

Well, a girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don’t love.

Acting is everybody’s favorite second job.

Well, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I haven’t been a rogue most of my life.

Played tennis for years. But you can’t improve at tennis after you’re 50. You get to be in your 40s, and suddenly you’re a doubles player.

Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.

Almost everybody’s happy to be a fool for love.

The minute that you’re not learning I believe you’re dead.

I’m content with the fact that I made a decent effort. That’s what I’ve always worried about: that I wouldn’t try hard enough.

I am mad, I am going under, I must follow the advice of a friend, and pay no heed to myself.

My most useful acting tip came from my pal John Wayne. Talk low, talk slow, and don’t say too much.

Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.

I guess the best advice I ever got or anyone could get for doing a talk show, though it has not been easy very often, was from Jack Paar, who said, ‘Kid, don’t make it an interview. Interviews have clipboards, and you’re like David Frost. Make it a conversation.’

Having sisters is the best. I have a different relationship with each of them. I go to Kim for fashion advice, Khloe is always boy and family advice, and Kourtney is like another mother to me.

Choose wise and Godly people to advise you.

Fear depends on time for it’s strength! Confront that which you fear with speed.

I would advise young artists to paint as they can, as long as they can, without being afraid of painting badly.