To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
DICK GREGORYYou know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We’re the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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When you shoot right and truth and justice down, the more right and truth and justice will rise up.
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When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening – there wasn’t no 24-hour news.
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America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don’t misuse a household pet.
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When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
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I never thought I’d see the day that I would see white folks as frightened, or more so than black folks was during the civil rights movement when we were in Mississippi.
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It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn’t stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.
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I personally would say that the quickest way to wipe out a group of people is to put them on a soul food diet.
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You know, I always say white is not a color, white is an attitude, and if you haven’t got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don’t need, you can’t be white.
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I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp – just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.
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Just being a Negro doesn’t qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
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In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don’t know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.
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Every door of racial prejudice I can kick down, is one less door that my children have to kick down.
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I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
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I wouldn’t mind paying taxes – if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
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I personally believe breathatarianism to be the highest mode of human living breathing in pure air, absorbing the direct light and energies of the sun, bathing in pure water I look at the obituaries every morning and ain’t nobody listed but you eaters.
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Did you know that in New Orleans they still have brown bag parties? What’s that, you ask? You and I go to a party, and when we get to the door, there’s a brown bag hanging down from the ceiling, and if our skin is darker than the brown bag, we can’t go in.
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There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
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I used to get letters saying, ‘I didn’t know black children and white children were the same.’
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Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother’s milk.
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Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.
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Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don’t have the ability to be lovable.
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Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.
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When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, ‘I’ve been gypped,’ or, ‘He welshed on the deal.’
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Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
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Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.
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If democracy is such a good thing, let’s have more of it.
DICK GREGORY