If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.
DICK GREGORYYou know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We’re the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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Just being a Negro doesn’t qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
DICK GREGORY -
We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn’t it either. I’m going to be an American Citizen. First-class.
DICK GREGORY -
I wouldn’t mind paying taxes – if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
DICK GREGORY -
It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn’t stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.
DICK GREGORY -
There is a limit on how much information you can keep bottled up.
DICK GREGORY -
You hear entertainers all the time, saying, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for this, I’d do it for free.’ When’s the last time you ever heard a business person say, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I’d do it for free?’
DICK GREGORY -
I personally believe breathatarianism to be the highest mode of human living breathing in pure air, absorbing the direct light and energies of the sun, bathing in pure water I look at the obituaries every morning and ain’t nobody listed but you eaters.
DICK GREGORY -
When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, ‘I’ve been gypped,’ or, ‘He welshed on the deal.’
DICK GREGORY -
Revolution ain’t nothing but an extent of evolution; Evolution is a fact of nature.
DICK GREGORY -
It’s cool to be healthy.
DICK GREGORY -
When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening – there wasn’t no 24-hour news.
DICK GREGORY -
Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.
DICK GREGORY -
Every door of racial prejudice I can kick down, is one less door that my children have to kick down.
DICK GREGORY -
If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.
DICK GREGORY -
America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don’t misuse a household pet.
DICK GREGORY