“Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.”

There are always twenty excellent reasons for doing nothing for every one reason for starting anything-especially if it has never been done before.

As so often happens, I discover that it would have been better to keep my mouth shut.

Human population growth is probably the single most serious long-term threat to survival.

A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.

I have frequently been misrepresented. I don’t hate the press; I find a lot of it is very unpalatable.

British women can’t cook.

It’s a pleasure to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.

The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined.

Everything that wasn’t invented by God is invented by an engineer.

Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I’ve practised for many years.

All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury.

We live in what virtually amounts to a museum – which does not happen to a lot of people.

I had been playing polo, and I decided to give up at the age of 50.

Wildlife of the world is disappearing, not because of a malicious and deliberate policy of slaughter and extermination, but simply because of a general and widespread ignorance and neglect.

Anyone who is concerned about his dignity would be well advised to keep away from horses.

If success is my drug then I’ve been on a chronic overdose all my life.

I feel like Alice in Wonderland. Maybe Lewis G Carroll was on drugs too.

I sat at a bar having a beer trying to hold down the stool.

We’ve got a national campaign by drug legalizers, in my view, to try and use medicinal uses of drugs and legalization of hemp as a stalking horse to get in under the radar screen.

The United States and Mexico are trapped – economically, culturally, politically and because of drug crime – in the same continent.

There’s so much fear involved in trying to do something you don’t know how to do that drugs and alcohol can become a big part of your life if you have an addictive personality or are very unsure, which most songwriters are.

I had some money, I made the best paintings ever.

If you have too many epiphanies, you’re on some kind of drug.