The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
BOB SAGETI have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, ‘Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.’ It literally was a drive-by.
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My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
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Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
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I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn’t a hard ‘r’ cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one – she’s 12, but very sophisticated so it’s an unusual case.
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I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
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Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
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Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
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Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.
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A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
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When you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away.
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The nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
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Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
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A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
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If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something.
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Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
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No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
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My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.
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If you’re a host of a video show and you’re on the cleanest show on television for eight years, people want to say, ‘Well, that’s what that person does.’ That was the dilemma for me, career-wise.
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I become a chameleon for wherever I am.
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The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.
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I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
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I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
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I’m psyched about what I can contribute that can be meaningful to myself and to others.
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I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman’s face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce….I thought he was missing.
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25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.
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The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
BOB SAGET