I put a basketball in front of George Clooney’s door and sprayed it with supermodel perfume to lure him out.
ELLEN DEGENERESI don’t think I remember my first memory.
More Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
-
-
We can sit and worry about what’s going to happen to us two weeks from now. I’d rather focus on the amazing things happening right in front of us.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
Usually, I wear tennis shoes because my feet are flat, and it hurts to wear anything other than shoes that are cushiony.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
I hate having to do small talk. I’d rather talk about deep subjects. I’d rather talk about meditation, or the world, or the trees or animals, than small, inane, you know, banter.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
It feels good. Kinda like when you have to shut your computer down, just sometimes when it goes crazy, you just shut it down and when you turn it on, it’s okay again. That’s what meditation is to me.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
It was so important for me to lose everything, because I found out what the most important thing is, which is to be true to yourself.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
Quick decision makers are often stuck behind annoying people in line at Starbucks.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
No one is perfect, except for Penélope Cruz.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
I believe one day a ‘ban on gay marriage’ will sound totally ridiculous. In the meantime, I will continue to speak out for equality for all of us.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
I just like observing people – it’s something I’ve done ever since I was a kid, and I got really good at it. That’s a big part of why I became a comedian. My audience is filled with every kind of person you can imagine, and I love that.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don’t even understand how anyone would want that job at all. Although I would be able to play golf which I don’t seem to have time now.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
I get those fleeting, beautiful moments of inner peace and stillness – and then the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day, I’m a human trying to make it through in this world.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
Do we have to know who’s gay and who’s straight? Can’t we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?
ELLEN DEGENERES -
You know, it’s hard work to write a book. I can’t tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
If we lose our phones, we lose our phone books. You don’t memorize numbers anymore.
ELLEN DEGENERES