I am so busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything – which as you know, always leads to something – cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.
JERRY SEINFELDYou know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up. I can’t compete in normal society. I’m miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.
More Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
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I’ve been car crazy my whole life, since I was nine years old. It’s just something I’m very aware of.
JERRY SEINFELD -
The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I’m like Grace Jones to them. “This guy is nuts-talking about socks. Where’s the wife jokes, where’s the fat jokes?”
JERRY SEINFELD -
I didn’t know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it’s a musical.
JERRY SEINFELD -
The best revenge is living well.
JERRY SEINFELD -
I can’t go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?
JERRY SEINFELD -
Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets.
JERRY SEINFELD -
I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.
JERRY SEINFELD -
If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.
JERRY SEINFELD -
You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up. I can’t compete in normal society. I’m miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.
JERRY SEINFELD -
Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
JERRY SEINFELD -
That’s why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
JERRY SEINFELD -
Pain is usually represented by lightning attacking the guy. Glowing redness is also popular. Sometimes parts of the guy would just burst into flames.
JERRY SEINFELD -
[I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody who’s … normal … I’m not curious, I’m not interested.
JERRY SEINFELD -
This is one of my big things of creative pursuits. You have your idea you want to do, but then you got to figure out what does this thing want to be? You got to let it lead you a little.
JERRY SEINFELD -
Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you’re comfortable with.
JERRY SEINFELD