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Shave off your beard and wear a dress. You would be a great female impersonator.

Simon Cowell

Anything I shouldn’t laugh at makes me laugh. I mean, I’m bad at that, when somebody is singing something terribly and I’m thinking to myself, ‘If I laugh now, this is the absolute worst thing I could ever do,’ and then I start laughing and I can’t stop.
SIMON COWELL

Laughing Mean Thinking
You sounded like Dolly parton on helium.” (After kristy lee cook of season 7 on american idol,sang her country rendition of the Beatles'”Eight Days A Week.)
SIMON COWELL

Country Eight Idols Season
I’m a great believer in getting checked out because if you know you’re OK, you actually feel better; your mind plays a big part of it.
SIMON COWELL

Better Feel Mind Play
There’s no need for me to get married. I live with someone; we’re happy; end of story.
SIMON COWELL

Married Needs Stories
Of course I have an ego, but you have to have an ego. You have to be incredibly competitive. I can get competitive at times, way too much, and it becomes a little bit obsessive.
SIMON COWELL

Ego Littles Much Times Too
It’s not our intention to be mean. That’s just within us.
SIMON COWELL

Country Intention Mean People
I didn’t have any qualifications when I left school – I had three O-levels.
SIMON COWELL

Levels School Three
The young people working for me are ambitious and hard-working. That work ethic has always been a trait of the British.
SIMON COWELL

Hard Work People Work
I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food.
SIMON COWELL

Fancy Hate Spaghetti
Sincerity is romantic. I don’t think you need gestures.
SIMON COWELL

Gestures Needs Thinking
I like to know why a video has suddenly gone viral, why a song has broken, why a TV show is suddenly rating out of pattern… I’m pretty good at understanding why things are becoming popular.
SIMON COWELL

Broken Shows Song Television
I suggest we bring some normality back to this country and say if you are carrying a knife, there must be zero tolerance. If it was up to me, everyone caught with a knife would get an automatic ten year sentence.
SIMON COWELL

Country Years Zero
I never knew how much love and pride I would feel.
SIMON COWELL

Feels Love Much Pride
My proudest achievement has been the success of the shows and artists I have been involved with, because they were made in Britain.
SIMON COWELL

Achievement Artist Made
My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don’t.
SIMON COWELL

Advice Business Careers
I actually don’t understand a word Paula’s saying anymore. It’s like a new language.
SIMON COWELL

Country Hilarious Language People

Shave off your beard and wear a dress. You would be a great female impersonator.

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Shave off your beard and wear a dress. You would be a great female impersonator.

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Popular Authors

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