Go on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes like chicken, it tastes just like chicken! If it tastes just like chicken, why don’t you gimme some damn chicken?
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITWithout getting too profound, I’m pretty sure that’s where the invention of the afterlife comes from. “
More Bobcat Goldthwait Quotes
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Stand-up was interesting to me at the beginning, because I was trying to parody it. My early stand-up was really Andy Kaufman-esque, and then I became the very thing I was making fun of.
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I’m against gun control. It’s not that I like guns, it’s just that allowing Americans to have guns will increase the chances that a bunch of rednecks will blow each other’s heads off.
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Fame is like a big eraser. It’s strange, now that I’m famous. In my parents’ opinion, all the shitty things – all the wreckage of my past – is erased.
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We don’t really become worm food. We go to a magical place with bunnies and rainbows.”
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In my first stand-up acts there wasn’t material even. You know, I’d go on stage and cry and read a Dear John letter or gut fish on stage. I could be odd – and it’s what interested me as a comedian.
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Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.
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America’s one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
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Without getting too profound, I’m pretty sure that’s where the invention of the afterlife comes from. “
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Kurt (Cobain) was a fan of my standup, which was pretty weird.
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How can you be a vegetarian atheist and own a gun? Well, that’s who I am.
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That’s human nature – we want to completely rewrite history so it can be comfortable.
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Don’t hoo, hoo, hoo me. There’s a fine line between hoo, hoo, hoo and hiel, hiel, hiel.
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In fact, with Michael Jackson, I think those mourning people… They aren’t even waking Michael, they’re waking the Michael Jackson of ’84.
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I can smell parents’ stomach acid right now, but they know that whole “You gotta get a job and you gotta settle for what people perceive as success” thing is really absurd.
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They never were given a chance to give their respects to the death of the guy they loved back in ’84.
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